I am struggling to forget my partner's sexual history!!!?

You have to remember there was life before you. Do you give her every detail of your sex life before her, or does she even want to know. We can't live in the past,look to the future and if you want her to be included in that future, accept the fact that she wasn't living in a bubble before she met you. If you can't handle your girlfriend's life before you, than you will be spending a lot of time alone, because there aren't too many people around today who do not have other people in their past. The past is gone, tomorrow, isn't here, Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. >live for today...you can't change yesterday.....If you love her, forget it, if not and you can't deal with it than do her a favor and let her go now so she can move on

what the hell does her sexual past have to do with you??? and why you so upset over it???

it is the past, it should STAY in the past... and have no bearing on the present... unless you keep harping on about it!!!

Were you a virgin when you first got together? Sorry but most of us have a past. Although you might not like what happened before you got together, it was before you and the past cannot be changed. She is with you now and you should be happy together. Don't let things that are in the past control the future.

What's done is done man. If you can't forget it, it will kill the relationship.

If I were you, I'd just get over it. You can't do anything about it, and it it worries you that your g/f has been had by the local stud, perhaps it's time you let her go....

i agree with her i'm afraid.
Everybody has ex sexual partners (good or bad). you will have to learn to forget about it like everyone has to.

Anyway, remember she has chosen you! so your the best in her eyes

It embarasses her everytime you bring it up, you either have to love her for her or leave her.

Just about everyone has a history. Welcome to the real world. xoxox

Most of us have a history and we have to learn to accept people's past - her past is what makes her the girl you are with now and you gotta learn to accept that - you will end up very lonely if you can't get over someones previous lovers........you are going to push her away cos we don't want our fellas harping on about guys we have been with previously - she is with you now and that is all that matters

She's with you now you should concentrate on that not on her history.

If you can't then she is right you should forget about her and move on.

It sounds like she's uncomfortable talking about that topic so maybe you should just drop it...

I think you will find the answer in her response

If she can't respect her feelings than she is not worth your time. If you want to talk about she should talk with you instead of being demanding.

I see both of your points. The most important fact here though, is that if she was sexually active, esp. with a guy that slept around, she needs to be tested for Aids, Herpes and all other STD. So do you, if you have slept with her since then. Planned Parenthood can do this for you both at a fee based on your income. It really is true (as far as STDs go)that you have slept with every person your partner has, etc. etc. Imagine a family tree. You get the idea. No one is worth risking your life over.

I'll bet she wants you to drop it, because she can't believe that she was gullible enough to be one of his conquest. I'm sure she's grown a great deal since then, and does not want to be reminded of the mistakes from her past...

I'm sure you've done a thing or two that you wish you could take back, but you can't... And neither can she.

Live in the present and the past will soon fade into a distant memory.

God bless!

look, if she isnt a cheater and she is free of STDs, just forgive her!

what people have done before they met you is beyond their control, its already done so beating yourself up about it wont help. both of you look to the future make each other happy, i have always said that if we took as much time making people Happy as we do making them miserable the world would be lovely place.... also life doesn't come with a guarantee

if this was in the past then why let it bother you, weve all slept with people we regret, it was prob a drunken thing, im sure youve slept with people you regret, id get over it and stop punishing her or youl end up splitting up over something that happened before you, good luck xxi know its hard but shes with you now and thats all that matters matex

You just have to let it go, and when you start to think about it think about something else.

She chose to sleep with him so it's her problem!

Put it out of your mind. What is in the past should stay in the past - it's not like she or you can go back and change the fact that she slept with him!

If it's so much of an issue for you then it will cloud your whole relationship!

It rather something unusual quantity 23 sexual significant different. besides while somebody has shifted from first to 2nd then any quantity would not remember, whether it rather is 3 or 23. Its only mirror the character of a guy or woman no longer something as. in case you're saying fact or tell a lie too is character of a guy or woman. So, now its as much as you. Its your character. Now its her turn what does she want & assume from her significant different. If she 2 has 3 sexual significant different then what if 4 or 5 or 23?

I know how it feels bruv, I went out with a bird who'd been bedded by some bloke who I hated and it's an awkward one!

But if you let this play on your mind and you keep bringing it up, your bird is gonna see you as an insecure wuss, get fed up with you and like she says, will end it!!

What you need to remember though geez, is that if the bloke you know see's you or anything, don't feel inferior to him; if he comes up to you and says something sarcastic bout nobbin her, stand up for yourself and say, "What do you want, a f***ing medal!?"

If your girl see's your not threatened by him you'll get BIG points for this and she'll love you for it!!

Just don't bring it up anymore mate! He's in the past - Your the future!

Laterz - and good luck!

DAniel,

I seem to be in a minority here but I have some sympathy with your situation. It really hurts when a girl has been with someone else, and its worse if the guy is still around on the scene.

Now for some advice. As she doesn't want to talk about this, you need to put it on the back burner for a while. Later, when you are closer, you will have the chance to explain your feelings of jealosy. Being jealous is a dimension of love that has to be dealt with. And don't be too hard on her for what she did before you were on the scene and don't be too hard on yourself either.

.

Don't dwell on the past, whoever she slept with before she met you is irrelevant, all that matters is that she's with you now.

well you better shut up about it, it does not matter how many were in her past as long as you are the last. it's realy none of your bussiness. so get over yourself.

She obviously want to put her past behind her and you are constantly bringing it up. It is not fair, if you truly love her and want to maintain the relationship, forget about the past, discussing her past with you will not take it away, it will only add to your grief, love is blind so ... love her as she is afteral you too have a past the only different is that she might not know about it.

the majority of people go into relationships with some kind of previous history it is in our nature,

the only thing you need to remember is that she was not with you at the time, it is her history not yours.

i am not surprised that it annoys her to keep being questioned on it, it has nothing to do with you, the same as your history has nothing to do with her.

if you really want this relationship to work, then i strongly suggest that you forget the past and start concentrating on the present and future, only then will you both really be able to enjoy each others company.

good luck.

Why are you struggling with something that had nothing to do with you? Ya know, if you can't get past this, you're in trouble and so is this relationship.

You have no idea what led to this 'conquest' you speak of! Let it go, pal. I don't blame her for not wanting to talk about it. If you persist, you'll push her away for good.

Sounds like she has already worked past this and it happened to HER not YOU!! You're lucky that she hasn't already ended the relationship with you!

well, u know her sexual history which is good if she told u. the next step is for you to forget about and build your life together. she doesn't want to talk to you about it because she doesn't want to remember it. it's something that happened in the past and you will be bringing her back to point zero if you keep asking her about it when she is on the verge of moving on with her life.she realises her mistakes and no one wants to be reminded of their past mistakes now and then, somy advice is that you respect her , forgive and forget, then start on a new chapter together.

get real man the past is the past><>< nothing to do with you what so ever>< don't even ask her>< and forget that guy>< care for her and she will care for you<> for some girls it's hard to get over thing especially bad one ok><don't force it and give it time<> that if you love her?><
good luck (Patience make the heart grow fonder)

Most people have a past. What was she supposed to do? Sit around and never have fun / never have sex? You need to forget this or it's going to ruin your relationship. It's not as if it was your girlfriend sleeping around, maybe that idiot guy made her feel special then dumped her. Instead of making her talk about it, you need to drop it. Maybe she feels stupid doing it or regrets it.
You need to drop it! It's not a big deal, who cares about the past? She's with you now...concentrate on that...or else she'll be gone.

let her go way.

Start new begging life will never stop

good luck

I think your girlfriend has been pretty clear. You're either gonna deal with it or move on. Unless you date virgins, this will always be a problem.

you both have your own reasons. yes leave the past behind, and you should try to forget about it. But she should also be willing to listen to your feelings. if you feel that she doesn't care about what you have to say then don't be with her. It sounds as though SHE isn't over it either.

maybe a talk would help.

She is right I am afraid.The past is her property,her choices etc.You are only entitled to consider how she is in the present.We all have pasts.If you let this in on you, then you are just using it as an excuse to cover some other underlying problem in your relationship, which I suspect to be either trust,or is she the one.

Why you still stringe with her past? If you love her and she loves you in return she want to start everything with you in a new phase. She is right is not to talk about it with you is not to hurt your feelings and make it marked in your heart. You should do the same and find forgiveness to her past as well.

If you cannot forget what is bad how you can find out what is good in her in the future. It appears that you doesn't love her enough.

Remember no one can stand up and said they have done nothing wrong in their life, you should overcome this feeling and start a bright future with her right now. and Never ever mentioned anything to accuse her in the future.

we all have a past and it's nice that you can't bear the thought of her being used.
However, talking about our past sex lives is usually the biggest turn off!!!
The only problem i can see with her sleeping with this guy before is if she had caught something but if she used protection it's fine.
If you are worried about sti's simply go the clinic and get checked out don't go asking if she used anything with him, her past doesn't need to come up anymore, your just torturing yourself

as u are asking to keep positive.....u should get steady with her....not giving her anything to go against u....be a good partner....care/sympathy/understanding/loving/will be a true sense to be taken care of in relationship.....god bless u....

Sorry, what she did before she met you is her business not yours. Leave it alone or she will dump you. You must have had a past too.

Sadly she is right- Get over it or forget about her. Its in her past if you cant get over it you two have no future. I cant give u any Advice other then we all have pasts and we cant change them you just have to accept the person.

She's right. Keep reminding yourself that what happened to her before doesn't have anything to do with you and her now. Concentrate on what is RIGHT NOW, or you'll lose her to the past. See that movie, "Chasing Amy."

You have to accept her past as its nothing to do with you anyway. If you continue to probe then you will lose her, and anyway, do you want to hear about their sex life? Stop acting with immaturity and enjoy your relationship.

it was past, you shouldn' t ask her about it.

get away from that hoe. i've been in the same spot. it doesn't work out well.

Well my friend do you love this girl, does she love you back cos people take decision and they can be right or wrong depending on the outcome. So your girl might have thought he was the one or even got caught in the moment and some guys really know how to seduce a girl. So what I'm trying to say is that everyone deserves a second chance and also this does not mean she’s going to sleep around.

So forget it and tell her that you love her and trust her enough to forget about it cos love, trust and commitment is what keeps a relationship and a marriage together.

Take an example, you two feels that you have found the right one and you have sex with her and for some reason ur relationship ends. Then what about the next one you or she gets in to, the same situation except you or she was not a player as the guy in question before.

So my advice is give her a second chance if you love her as I think you do by your writing and tell her that you trust her and willing to work past it and ask her to help you get past it, what I mean is tolerate some things you might say accidently cos both of you will have to scarifies to go forward but importantly learn to trust each other cos what have you got to loose and you will not know until you try.

All the best my friend, hope I helped

Ask her friends simple as!