最佳回答取20分!幫我睇下呢篇英文既文法...

Not too many mistakes actually, it just doesn't flow too well

The story starts in a school. One day, the lights in the third-grade classroom went out.The students waited patiently, but the lights stayed off and there was no announcement. Melody was asked to deliver (take works too, but I thought deliver was better) a note to the temporary secretary, Miss Kidwell. During break time, Melody found out that everything Miss Kidwell touched got messed up. They found her very strange. Every time she messed something up, she would have new charm dangling from her bracelet.

The students started to look into Miss Kidwell. They found out that she invaded FATS. They tried using some good luck charms to get rid of Miss Kidwell, but it didn't work. They ended up using a clover to get rid of her, and the regular secretary was back. The students saved the school and the country!

Firstly, you're NOT supposed to start sentences off with but or then, not saying it's illegal in the English language, but you would never do so if had had another choice. Besides that...there's just some minor grammar mistakes...

They started to look into Miss Kidwell, okay, I know what you're trying to say, you mean the students are trying to investigate further, and find out more about this Miss Kidewell, right? Your sentence doesn't sound so good with the rest of your summary. Maybe try:

The students decided to find out more about this new temporary secretary.

The story started in a school.One day ,the lights in the classroom of third floor went out.The students was waiting.But the lights stayed off and there was no announcement.Melody was asked to take some notes 2)by the temporary secretary,Miss Kidwell.During the break time,Melody found that everything Miss Kodwell got messed up.they thought that Miss Kidwell was strange.Every time she messed something up,she got a new charm dangled from the bracelet.

Then they looked at Miss Kidwell.They found that FATS are invaded around her.They wanted to use some good luck with charm to get rid of Miss Kidwell.But it didn't work.Finally they used clover to get rid of Miss Kidwell.



The regular secretary was be back.The students saved the school and the country!