英文作文 (小四) 急急急

I went to Ocean Park with my family at Boxing Day. It was a beautiful day because the weather was great! We rode on the Cable Car! Then, we went to Kingdom of ice. I have never seen ice in Hong Kong. When we went into the kingdom of ice. The temperature was under “0” degree. It was very cold. Finally, we played ice sea-saw a few time and left

2008-01-20 16:40:29 補充：
I have never seen ice in Hong Kong 番個before.=I have never seen ice in Hong Kong before.

I went to Ocean Park with my family on Boxing Day. It was a beautiful day with great weather! We ride on the Cable Car.
Then we went to the Kingdom of ice and played the ice sea-saw.. It was a memorable experience as I have never seen ice in Hong Kong before. When we went inside the kingdom of ice, we saw that the thermometer is showing “0” degree. It’s very cold indeed. I have an unforgettable experience there!!

It's a beautiful day?
past tense呀 it was!!
great weather唔洗要都得因為你放錯位
你全部冇蠹past tense呀
Cable Car唔洗大草
the Kingdom of ice最好搵個引號引住=the ''Kingdom of Ice''
應該係I had never seen ice in Hong Kong.
應該係The temperature was below 0 degrees.
講之前d野就應該用past tense
全部都要,除左對話唔洗(作文入面)

2008-01-20 16:42:55 補充：
你全部冇用past tense呀

I went to Ocean Park with my family on Boxing Day. It was a beautiful day, becaurse it had a great weather! We rode on the Cable Car! We went to Kingdom of ice. I never see ice in Hong Kong. When we went inside the kingdom of ice. The temperature was under zero degree. It was very cold. last,we played ice sea-saw.

I went to Ocean Park with my family on Boxing Day. It was a beautiful day, great weather. We rode on the cable car. We went to Kingdom of ice. I have never seen ice in Hong Kong. When we went inside the kingdom of ice. The temperature was under “0” degree. It’was very cold. We played ice sea-saw.