Guys, what would you do if you found out that one of your children was actually sired by another man?

Well, it really is a tough situation. Unfortunately, legally - given that it's been "years" - you probably won't have an option #2.

Paternity fraud is a major problem in the US (and abroad) and the legal system is disgracefully biased against fathers/men. It's very likely that the time limit to establish paternity (or not) has passed and the law will force you to be financially responsible for that child despite your proof and, believe it or not - even if your wife decides to leave you.

Worse still, she could leave you now for the biological father, and you would STILL be on the hook financially.

In most states, fathers only have a very limited amount of time to prove/disprove paternity and paternity fraud is a lot more widespread that people know or want to believe. Sadly, women rarely, if ever, are punished for paternity fraud, but an unknowing father, if he missed the "deadline" can be punished for decades financially.

Beyond that, the emotional damage to the father and ultimately, the child - are unspeakable.

There are many thousands of fathers in the US and abroad who pay for children that are no biologically their own - some who know and are forced "by law" - and others who have no idea that the child that they are raising as "theirs" - isn't.

No man should ever be forced, no matter how much time has passed, to be a parent to or be financially responsible for a child that was born of paternity fraud. The mother should be punished and the real father should be made to be responsible unless the defrauded father chooses to do so.

I wouldn't judge you one way or the other.

Just go on as things are things have a way of working out for themselfs. You've already bonded with the child why put them through all that. You and your wife need to talk first b4 rocking the kids world with that kind of news

You could tell your wife what you did and ask her to do the same. Go to counseling, decide if you want to work on the relationship or get divorce. Don't let the wife make the husband feel like he did anything wrong. If he was made to think he was the dad, he had every right to get dna testing.
Betrayal can eat you from the insides out. Don't keep it bottled.

number 1. i know i'm a girl, but you said you already bonded with the child. but warn your wife that if there is any more infidelity throughout the relationship that you will leave. you shouldn't sue the biological father because then you will look horrible in front of your wife. i know you will do the right thing, so good luck to you and your family.

~Kiki

Dude option two seems like the only real answer. She's screwed at least two guys while you were married and had child and lied to you for years about it. She has probably lied about other things as well. If you are willing raise that child then tell the father to keep his money and sign over all the rights to you and gets the kids because your wife has cheated on you. And as far as my best friend is concerned I probably would have broken him so badly he'd never recover.

OMG, you know this is probably the most difficult question on here I have ever seen. I know I shouldn't be answering since you directed it towards men but OMG. Although I am a talker, your question leaves me speechless. I think you need to ask yourself a few questions. No matter what, can you for the rest of your life, good or bad times NOT let anyone else know the truth? The child will be the most devastated if they or anyone finds out. Not that the mother shouldn't feel like crap but ultimately its the child that is of the utmost concern here. Can you even contemplate letting this child go on weekends or if you divorce and the truth comes out, you stated you already love this child, you would have to give that all up. Its a huge huge decision. Think too that later on in life if you and your wife would ever split, even if you opt to not let the truth come out now, it can't then either. Can you forgive her for cheating? I know even coming from me, and if this was me and I knew that I loved my wife and if I told the truth I would lose it all I think I would keep my mouth shut. It is going to be a mental challenge to keep all this bottled inside. I hope you aren't offended by anything I said or even answering, I wish you nothing but the best, no matter what you decide.........

You are a very forgiving man, and I am so annoyed that your wife has done this to you, twice, appears she has very little respect for you and your family.

You are really are between a rock and a hard place.

Only you know what is the right thing to do, because what you decide will affect everyone in it, especially all the children.

Let her know you know about the paternity of the child, gage her reaction. Only you know if you have the strength to keep this marriage going, you need to have peace of mind and be happy in your life.

Me, I would ask her to leave, and take the child with her and have the biological father take care of them. If she has done this before, do you think she is going to stop. Why should she, she gets to play away, have fun, while you support the family, I think she is abusing your trust.

Yes, I would and anybody should. If there was one iota of doubt, the truth could come out in the future even if it's been lied about for years. It wouldn't affect my feelings for the child but if the bio father went to court and won visitation it sure as hell would affect the relationship with the child. I would allow the bio father all access to his own child, as I would hope for the same if I was in his situation. There would be no "co-fathering", it would be more like both roles being lessened. As for the mother-funny you didn't ask, I assume she would be leaving for a third relationship? If not it would definitely be over. Cheating is the first nail in the coffin of any relationship, staying with a cheater or cheating to "get even" is no way to live.

u have to be true to your own heart, every ones reality is not the same. i would not tell the child and crush his spirit, i would continue to be dad always. takes a special man to put that one aside and think of the child's well being. if u love your wife, u really need to try to work it out, even if u have been hurt and betrayed. depends what u hold dear in life.

If that Child was fathered by another man, and you were the only one in the Life of this Child, I would suggest to keep on being the Father of this child, because this is not his fault what his Mother did to you. But I would file for Divorce, and file for Custody of this Child, I do not think your Wife would contest it, because she would come out of being a bad Mommy, and infidelity, on her part.
It is a hard dilemma you are facing, I wish you all the luck in the World, and I hope it all works out for the better, for you and your child.