please teach me the letter's grammer,thanks

Dear Mr.xxx,
We wish to inform you that we received from you twelve(12) cheques between 1st Aug and 12th Aug 2007.
As to the parking permit, please bring your old parking permit for renewval at the Lobby's service counter inside the South Tower VI .
Sould you have any quieries please contact Miss xxx at Tel: xx xx xx xx. Thank you for your attention.
Yours sincerely,

xxx

2008-01-15 23:45:29 補充：
Typing mistake : renewval ---------- renewal

2008-01-16 07:57:58 補充：
Correction : As to the parking permit------- As to/Regarding the parking permit, please bring the old parking permit in person to the service counter at the lobby of South Tower VI for renewal before(dd/mm/yy) at any time /during office hour(9:00 AM to 6:00 PM)/at any time.

The above letter have no problems !
But you need to add the address of xxx !
Hope I can help you !
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