Check my LOVE Poem?

2007-12-30 8:19 am
I'm a Chinese student who is learning English language.

I wrote a poem in English,
but I 'm afraid there should have been severar mistakes in it.

would you please help me to check and make it better?
Much thanks! Sincerely!



OUR SONG - Written for the years to come
Since this ancient time,
we are wrirting our Auld Lang Sung,
How can we remenber,
when time has passed our years to come?
Every day we see you and me,
And tomorrow we don't know what will be.
Just wish us a bright future,
And we know we'll again come here.

She is Michelle a pretty girl,
He is Cupid a naughty ked.
Their youth won't wait for them,
They just to promise to keep their Love.


PS. THIS poem is written for I and my GF,
maybe we are going to different universities,
but we hope we can keep our love forever!

Oh, Michelle, Love you so much!
Always praying fou you!

回答 (3)

2007-12-30 8:27 am
✔ 最佳答案
OUR SONG - Written for the years to come
Since this ancient time,
we are writing our Auld Lang Sung,
How can we remember,
when time has passed our years to come?
Every day we see you and me,
And tomorrow we don't know what will be.
Just wish us a bright future,
And we know we'll again come here.

She is Michelle a pretty girl,
He is Cupid a naughty kid.
Their youth won't wait for them,
They just to promise to keep their Love.

Hope it helped!
2007-12-30 5:10 pm
Hi Cupidmiho........

Katie and Caroll has sited all the mistakes in your poem...

but there is one more....not in the poem...but in the note given below...

THIS poem is written for I and my GF.............Wrong!
THIS poem is written for me and my GF.........Right!

got? thats all

have a nice day...nice sunday! cheers...

by the way,
The poem is very good!
2007-12-30 4:33 pm
(I'm not good with poems, but I can help with grammar.)

3rd and 4th line: (mispelled ''writing'' and ''remember'')
6th line should be "you and I", not you and me
9th line should be "And we'll come here again."
10th line: "She is Michelle, a pretty girl,
11th: Cupid, a naughty kid. (Is that supposed to be kid? I'm not sure, that might be wrong.)
11th: They just promise to keep their Love.


Cute poem. I hope I helped.


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