How do you help a man with no self-confidence?

If he's drinking every night, there isn't anything you can do to help him.

He has to want to help himself, and sounds like he's not ready to yet.

but you can be there for him for when he is.

it's nice to know there are ppl in the world that care about others.

The only thing you can do is stand by his side. Self confidence is something he has to gain on his own. You can try and build someone up by so much but if they don't believe it themselves it does no good. Just continue to be a friend to him.

Tell him to get a life. It wouldn't be being mean, since some ppl just have to hear it the tough way.

Told him, noone left him, because he still has 2 kids, Let him think about his 2 kids, and how they live without him.

Wow, now that's a tough one. With two teenagers to raise as a single parent, your friend needs to be at his best in so many area's. Traits like self confidence are certainly not acquired overnight. Usually through trial and error, then recognizing a positive track record, one begins to feel that success can and will be repeated. Thusly confident in ones self, we gain the emotion of self worth that exudes forth in our character. You said your friend feels his life is "meaningless". That statement if in fact uttered is HUGE! when said by someone in the midst of raising, creating if you will, two lives spawned through his own procreation. If this man is truly a "friend", and perhaps more importantly, if you are a true friend...
1.) Remove the poison of alcohol from his daily existence.
2.) See to it that he gets professional help.
3.) Be there for his children as well. (Helping them is helping him)
A "happy ending" to this story is unlikely without a concerted effort conjoined along with applied diligence. Best wishes toward the future for you both.
=PandaPaw=

Supergirl, you are not going to like this answer but pay heed - I have encountered this many times in life.

This person is drawing himself into this, and you, in trying to HELP him, are supporting his self-pity. This is not **your** fault - it's his.

A dependent personality will seek out the people who will feed their self pity. By always being there, playing the listening ear, being supportive, you're actually supporting his self destructiveness.

If you really care about this person, it's time to play hard ball. Convince him if he wants you around he's going to have to take charge of his life and get up. And MEAN it. Whenever he starts to complain about hard life is - suddenly you have something important to do - like help someone who will actually try to help *themselves.*

He will be resistant. "Aint nobody gunna tell me what to do, you don't know how hard it is" - we've heard it all before. He's pulling the "guilt" card. What you *really* have to remember at this point: this means he doesn't care enough about **YOU** to listen.

Keep checking in with him, show you're really being a freind. . But don't support the negativity. Make him want to help himself.

just be there for him and stand by his side. let him know that his life is not meaningless and just do all you can to let him see this. just being there in the time of need is a good thing good luck and i wish you both well

Hit the gym! Working out (cardio + weight lifting) releases stress due to endorphins being released... by focusing that anger/disappointment through exercise he could push himself, and see results in 2- 3 months... when you look good physically, you will be happy mentally... it's all correlated... and maybe in the exercise process, he will meet another potential spouse!

tell him he's not broke anymore and he needs to raise and look after his kids he still has them and needs to focus on them or else he is putting a bad example he shouldnt do that make him realize that his life is over and what he still has and has to gain and that he is only putting himself in a deeper hole that one day he might never get out of...tell him when his sober too

Thats just terrible. He needs a good friend to spend time with him right now. Go over his place with a preent and cheer him up. it would mean so much to him.