英文oral`幫我補充幾句 (my ideal job)

My ideal job is to be a doctor. Being a doctor can help others and I can even have a change to invent new medicine to cure diseases. Being a doctor is meaningful and important to me. Whenever people are sick, they had to come to us and seek for help. I will feel like I am a hero when I've helped someone in sick. For my ideal job, I am going to work harder, so I can get good grade and go to a good university. After that, I can be a good doctor and fulfil my dream.

idea不錯，但有一點點病句，幫你修改一下
原文：
i want to be a doctor because if i am a doctor. i can help many people and i can invent many naw medicine A doctor is very impertant because when people are sick i can heal them so that i am a heor in other peple`s mind i will work harder to get a chane to be a doctor.........................................

改為：
I want to be a doctor when I grow up. If I am a doctor, I can help many people and I can invent some medicine to heal people. Doctor is a important job because when people are sick, I can heal them so that I will be a hero in other people's mind. I will work hard to try to be a doctor.

上面的朋友，人家應該只有p.5/p.6，你的文章對於他來說太難了...

I want to be a doctor because I can help many people and invent lots of new medicine. When I can heal the sick, they'll regard me as a hero. I will try my best to be a doctor...

內容不足，以上係我將你原文精簡落黎的版本。可以加多D工作間的喜與樂，成功感之類的字眼。（例︰Healing my patients give me satisfaction...I will be very happy when people are grateful of me.）

不如你將"i want to be a doctor because if i am a doctor. i can help many people and i can invent many naw medicine"
改做:
I want to be a doctor when i grew up.If i become a dortor ,i would help sick people to get better.