幫我see下我o的文,有咩錯 比個分我(1篇)

2007-11-30 6:58 am
Last Sunday, I went to the park with my family. I saw a man ran very fast and he
was taking a full bag. All of sudden, his bag falled something out.
It was money!

Then, I thought it had a bank in this street. And we went on. Oh! It had a robbery in here.
A robber stole very much money away. I saw some police.
I told them what I knew.

At last, the police caught the robber. The banker also thanked me very much.

I will be more care what I see in the road and help the police.

回答 (2)

2007-11-30 7:07 am
✔ 最佳答案
I can only help you to correct the composition:

Last Sunday, I went to the park with my family. There, I saw a man with a large bag was running very fast. Suddenly, something from his bag fell to the floor. It was money!

Then, as I knew there was a bank near to the park, we decided to take the money to the bank. When we got there, we found out that the bank was just robbed! The thief stole a large sum of money away.

When the police came, I told them what I just saw in the park. Later on, the police caught the thief. The manager of the bank thanked me for my help. After this incident, I learnt to be more careful when I was on the road and I'll try my best to help the police.
參考: Hope it helps =]
2007-12-08 4:10 am
Last Sunday, I went to the park with my family. I saw a man ran very fast and he
was taking a full bag. All of sudden, his bag falled something out.
It was money!

Then, I thought it had a bank in this street. And we went on. Oh! It had a robbery in here.
A robber stole very much money away. I saw some police.
I told them what I knew.

At last, the police caught the robber. The banker also thanked me very much.

I will be more care what I see in the road and help the police.

改為

On last Sunday, I went to the park together with my family. I see that run very with him rapidly alone
Take a full bag. All suddenly, to pack bag into some thing that drop outside he.
It is the money!

Then, I think it has a bank in this residential district. And we continue. Oh! It once robs here.
A robber left much and stole money. I saw some police.
I tell them what I know.

Finally, the police catch robbers. The banker thank me very much too.

I will be the more taking care , I see and help the police in the road .

我的分數:85
參考: 我


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