請高手幫忙改文法～（２）

We will go to Lei Yue Mun eat the seafood, and visit Lei Yue Mun Old Batteries at night.
We will go to Ocean Park on the second day.There are the 2nd of the whole world grows of outdoor and dynamoelectric hand ladder here. It covers total 87 hectares, such as, Headlands Rides, Adventure Land, Marine Land, Lowland Gardens, Kids' World, Bird Paradise. There are also 42 beauty spots inside the park, the tourists can play here for a whole day.

Here is the plan for the night ,we will go to Lei Yue Mun to try out the seafood and visit theLei Yue Mun Old Batteries afterwards. Ocean park will be our destination on the second day. Ocean park has the world's second largest outdoor and dynamometric land ladder. The view is absolutely amazing and it covers approximately of eighty-seven heactares: the Headlands Rides, the Adventure Land, the Marine Land, the Lowland Gardens, the Kids' World and the Bird Paradise...e.t.c. It is a perfect choice for a whole day's out becuase there are 42 attractions, educational centres and places where it has an absolutely amazing views.

(Hello, this is my best shot. I dunno what this writting is for but the rule number one if you are writing this out to someone to read, you should never ever use numbers, you have to type the numbers in english words. in my opinion, you use we will twice in the same paragraph, you should always avoid using the same starting phase in a paragraph.
My english skill is not perfect but i am just trying to help you with wha i know. I hope it helps and good luck!

我用一句一句來改改你的文章 ( 我唔知自己岩唔岩，但盡量幫忙! :D)
At the night,
we will go to Lei Yue Mun eat the seafood. -----> 應該改為"we will go to Lei Yue Mun to eat seafood for dinner / supper" 或者 "we will go to have seafood for dinner / supper in Lei Yue Mun"。你可以用「dinner」或者「supper」，同一意思的，不過有些外國會用「dinner」來形容午餐的。

next︰and visit Lei Yue Mun Old Batteries ----> "and we will visit Lei Yue Mun Old Batteries."

next︰On the second day, we will go to Ocean Park. There has the whole world here the 2nd grows of outdoor and dynamoelectric hand ladder.
應該改為︰"There are the 2nd grows of outdoor and dynamoelectric hand ladders in the whole world."
要記住，「There」之後一定要用 verb to be ( is/ was,are/ were)，不能用動詞的。

next︰Cover total 87 hectares, include......... ----> 應改為︰"Ocean Park covers 87 heactare, including : Headlands Rides, Adventure Land, Marine Land, Lowland Gardens, Kids' World, Bird Paradise and there are 42 beauty spots inside the park totally."

next : The touriste can play in there a whole day. ----> "The tourists can play in there in a whole day"


希望可以幫到你啦! :)

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