請高手幫忙改文法~

2007-10-16 1:26 am
Your company has been providing investment services for us for many years; we also feel it to be honored very much and grateful you very much to provide for us for the life insurance scheme. However, the low response rate from our employees. Therefore, I have some proposals, and hope to be accepted.
這是商業英語,假設公司要send a letter to other company,

respond to requests,body係未應該咁寫?
會唔會太直接? 字眼合適嗎?請幫我改改~
同埋我想再加長d,仲可以寫咩?

回答 (1)

2007-10-16 1:37 am
✔ 最佳答案
Your company has been providing investment servicesi such as life insurance scheme for us for many years. We are honored and grateful about your services. However, the response rate is still somehow low from our employees. Our company has made some proposals to solve this low respondance, we hope that your company can take a look and decide if there is any proposal that you think it may help relieve the problem. Should you have any problem or enquiries, please do not hestitate and call our company.

呢段係body嗎? 我覺得做introduction or conclusion 會好d (Conclusion 有should果句, introduction冇), 睇你要寫d咩例如要唔要寫一d proposal 既內容。


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