Mark my writing 3

2007-10-15 1:29 am
Please mark my writing (better to have opinon and teach me how to write better)


My pet
I remembered that when a teacher in kindergarten taught me what was animal, I wanted to keep a pet. However, until now I have kept no pet.
更新1:

In the past I always imagined I would keep a smart wolf dog with black fur all around it. I could teach it to do many different tricks. After few days train, it might know how to feign death and stand up by using two legs already.

更新2:

I quite sure that it would be a lovely family member of mine. I would go out with it for a walk every evening. On Saturday we would go to the nearby park to play ball game. I could try my best to make it become the happiest dog in the world.

更新3:

I even wanted to train it into the doctor dog to help other people who were sick. Or I would take it to join many competitions and it might become a super dog star!

更新4:

However, I didn’t keep one finally because I know that my home isn’t the place for a dog to stay. I know a dog need a large place to live especially wolf dog, it likes to run on huge grass ground. I know that my house is too small for it. It won’t be happy to live with me.

更新5:

But I didn’t give up my dream pet. I will try my best to earn more money to buy a bigger house in the future so that I would keep my wolf dog. My perfect dog please waits for your master!

更新6:

I must make hundreds of mistakes T T

回答 (2)

2007-10-16 4:08 am
✔ 最佳答案
Just to make a few amendments. Besides grammatical mistake, you'd better mind the tone and diction in your passage=]

I remembered that a teacher in kindergarten taught me what was animal, I wanted to keep a pet (ever since). However,(I have kept no pet until now).

In the past I always imagined I would keep a smart wolf dog with black fur.

After (a few days' training), it might know how to feign death and stand up by two legs.

I (was) quite sure that it would be a lovely family member of mine.

However, I didn’t keep one (at last) because I know that my home (isn’t suitable) for a dog to stay. I know a dog need a large place to live (in), especially wolf dog, it likes to run on (a) huge grass ground.

But I (won’t) give up my dream pet. I will try my best to earn more money to buy a bigger house in the future so that I (can) keep a wolf dog.

My perfect dog please (wait) for your master!
2008-09-11 5:39 am
ok the website can help you.
www.money128.biz and www.fast-beauty.6289.us


收錄日期: 2021-04-29 18:00:59
原文連結 [永久失效]:
https://hk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071014000051KK03798

檢視 Wayback Machine 備份