When your sitting all alone at night what are some of the things your mind does to you?

I always get so sad. My mind doesn't "play tricks on me." I have spent so much time with myself that I know all my tricks. I can not get away with anything. What goes on in my mind is real and that's what makes me so sad. Truth hurts and reality sucks. It is a battlefield. Either I win or lose. I have learned how to win but it takes much effort. I always turn to Jesus. The only one I can go to for help. Truely. Then I have the greatest cat in the world. When I start to cry, she always comes over and nudges against me. She knows. She is a breath of fresh air, innocent, and honest. Simple but pure. Something this world can not offer me.

When I sit alone the night my mind would ask me " Why am I here alone? Shouldn't I be with my family and friends having fun?"... I just answered to myself "I'm always lonely so I don't have to worry. I will always be lonely because I know I will always be"... My mind would show me pictures from the past even If I try to forget them but they intend to show inside my mind haunting me. Then when I go to sleep the pictures will still continue showing until I wake up in the morning, scared, terrified for the past mistakes I've done and realized that I AM a just a person and I will always be doing mistakes because these cannot be turned away from.

Yes, sometimes I see stuff out of the corner of my eyes!
Like a cockroach or an animal or just something black.
Does that happen to anyone>?

sitting all alone at night ...my mind drives me crazy...
I always need to sedate it .

i will nude in home and see the erotic movie
haha

When I sit alone at night, I reflect on things I did earlier in the day, and how I should have said or done this differently while interacting with a co-worker or neighbor. I like to day dream about what I would have done differently. More glorified Hollywood action type of stuff. Silly really ☺ Or I sit and think about people who are closer to me like my family and friends. I like to think back on things we've done and said and laughed about. Then again, I alter those memories too with glorified fantasies as well! ☺ It's a problem... I'm working on it! haha, Take care ☺
P.S.
My mind doesn't really play any tricks on me. My hearing is amplified though when I sit in the dark. I hear things that happen regularly like the fridge, house creeks and so forth that you normally wouldn't pay attention to during the day when it's brighter and louder. That's about all. Sometimes I will stare at one single object for a while and when I do that the only thing I see is that very object. Everything else around the object I'm staring at turns black and cloudy and surrounds the object I'm staring at like a tunnel. It's weird really, but I do it. Kind of cool though ☺ Once again, take care. ☺