可以幫我check grammar嗎﹖

This style of writing would be fine for a poem... or children's book written in the style of a poem; but for anything else, I would advise to change the style a bit.

The first is a slight structure error, I would encourage you to change [[ dropping on the roof ]] to:
[[ You can hear the rain droplets splash against the roof. ]]


This is fragmented (not a complete sentence on its own):
[[ The sounds of the wind coming from all directions blowing the windows ]]
You can combine the sentences about rain and wind together if there are no poem restrictions.
[[ You can hear the rain droplets splash against the roof, the wind blowing in all directions and against the windows. ]]
If you want the sentences separate, you can change it to:
[[ The sound of wind is blowing in all directions and against the windows ]]


A few wrong use of words: [[ Tourism guide, instructions, cry, gate ]] (tour guides give commentary on places more so than instructions..)
[[ A tour / tourist guide (both can be used) ]]
[[ A tour guide is providing commentary to the tourists like a professor. ]]
[[ People are weeping at the departure lounge; they look like four year old children crying on the first day of school. ]]


There should be an [[ and ]] in the last sentence.. and if you want, you can change the second [[ shout ]] to avoid the same word in the same sentence.
[[ the whining of the children, and the loud announcements as the terminal becomes busier. ]]

Hope this helps!

2007-10-03 10:39:45 補充：
sorry, should be: The wind is blowing in all directions and against the windows.

2007-10-03 10:44:37 補充：
FINAL:Listen. It is raining outside. You can hear the rain droplets splash against the roof, the wind blowing in all directions and against the windows. Listen. A tour guide is providing commentary to the tourists like a professor.

2007-10-03 10:46:02 補充：
People are weeping at the departure lounge; they look like four year old children crying on the first day of school.On the other side, there IS a crowd of people shouting and laughing in front of the arrival gate.

2007-10-03 10:49:20 補充：
You can hear people screaming and arguing as they cant get on the flights, the whining of the children, and the loud announcements as the terminal becomes busier.

OK 幾好。不過要著意 verb 。

> drop = fall ，滴滴吓用 drip。dripping [on] the roof 就系滴落屋頂，dripping [from] the roof 就系由屋頂滴落。

> +ing 進行式前面要有 be，否則作名詞看。coming from all directions 系修飾 wind 而 wind 系解釋咩 sounds。成段都只系 subject (主詞) 咁 blowing 應該作主要動詞，指主詞 (the sounds) 做甚麽。但就算改咗 are blowing 情理都不合。 sounds 又點識吹？

> 導遊系 tour guide

> 得一個遊客 -- tourist ？之前無提及過又不是持有名詞又不是復數名詞又不是最高級形容詞唔應該用 the 。

> 又系 verb 攪錯。究竟 are 定 cry 呢？are 指主詞「是」什么，cry 指主詞「做」什么。想說做緊 be + -ing 啊。

> they 就唔好用 a

> there are a crowd of people = A crowd of people are over there. there 之後嘅動詞要協調跟著嘅名詞 a crowd 所以應該用 is 。 a group of people = a crowd --> There is a group of people

> flight 是航程，該是 plane 而且是 get onto

> people screaming ... 同 the shouts of children (無須用 the) 同 the sound of ... 字序唔平行 --> You can hear people screaming and arguing to get onto the planes, children shouting and playing and speakers announcing the flight information.

Listen. It is raining outside. You can hear the rain dropping on the roof. The sounds of the wind coming from all directions blowing the windows. Listen. A tourism guide is explaining the instructions to the tourist like (a) professor. People (who) cry at the departure gate, they look like a four year old child crying on the first day of school.

On the other side, there is a crowd of people shouting and laughing in front of the arrival gate. You can hear people screaming and arguing as they cant get on the flights, (the loud screams) of the children, the sound of the announcement as it gets busier.

應該沒有錯