im not happy and im so depressed?
2007-09-12 7:43 pm
I just had a baby , she is 4 months old right now. She is my world. For some reason, i feel like i love her more than i could love my husband at times. He makes me so mad. I just found out that hes been smoking pot, that put the icing on the cake. What can i do to help myself not be so depressed?
回答 (32)
2007-09-12 7:51 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Remember your baby hasn't been around for 30-plus years. Same reason most people love their pets. Pets don't talk - with the exception of parrots. Can't go wrong with a goldfish!But honestly, that's the great thing about life. Struggle. Find a way to work through those issues. My girlfriend stopped smoking pot for me, but it took an incredible amount of time. I had to sacrifice something I valued myself, but she disliked.
Or try going on a hike with your husband, just your husband. All that private time in a beautiful scenic place will be good for you both.
If nothing else seems to work, eat watermelon and a lot of fish. Or just get prescribed a prozac.
Good luck, God bless
2007-09-12 7:53 pm
I have a daughter and most of the time I feel the same, I love her more than anything in this world, so I think your behaviour is very normal. However, I would make sure my daughter grow up in a drug free world. If I were you I'll have a serious - very firmed talk with your husband. If still doesn't work, maybe counseling. It's very hard to be single parent, but if nothing work I think it'll be more important to teach you baby good morals than haven't a wrong husband. Good luck and all the best!
2007-09-12 7:52 pm
Having kids is not always great for some marriages. Choices between husbands, wives, and children are hard. A child is helpless and needs you more, therefore more love is focused towards them, it is natural. Your husband is probably learning how to adjust to this shift in love and attention. It is not easy to be the focus and then shifted. You have to ask yourself how bad to I want my marriage to work and try to find time for just the two of you. The pot thing may just be his way of coping with this. I'll bet it would change if you showed conscious effort to not forget you married this guy for a reason, hopefully love had a lot to do with it.
2007-09-12 7:51 pm
you may be suffering from post partum depression, and that may be something you should discuss with your doctor.
As for the pot smoking incident... you have a 4 month old baby! What is he thinking??? For me, that would be a deal breaker. I refuse to subject my baby to something like that. If it was a one time // things got a little out of hand night, that's one thing.... but as a father, he should be responsible. and I think you need to tell him, this will not happen again, and it sure as H*** will NOT happen under this roof. You can't raise a baby in that environment.
It's disrespectful to you (a new mommy) and it's irresponsible and disrespectful to your baby.
As for the pot smoking incident... you have a 4 month old baby! What is he thinking??? For me, that would be a deal breaker. I refuse to subject my baby to something like that. If it was a one time // things got a little out of hand night, that's one thing.... but as a father, he should be responsible. and I think you need to tell him, this will not happen again, and it sure as H*** will NOT happen under this roof. You can't raise a baby in that environment.
It's disrespectful to you (a new mommy) and it's irresponsible and disrespectful to your baby.
2007-09-12 8:43 pm
It really sounds like you have post-partum depression. I have had it too. you need to talk to your doctor right away. I think you need to remember you love your husband but it is a different love than it is with a child. Also I need to remind you that your husband is a new father and he is probably very stressed as well. I'm not saying he is dealing with it in the right way but you have to understand that he is dealing with emotions he doesn't know what to do with. Talk to him. Tell him your feelings and you might find he is feeling similar things and you two can support and help each other rather then pushing each each other away. kellylyn1113
2007-09-12 7:56 pm
it's great that you aren't feeling depressed about your daughter. i think once you have a baby your world and your perceptions change and it's not unusual to realize that you can't possibly love another human as much as your child. It's like...the way we were made....to love our kids unconditionally....our spouses....well, that's another story. As for the pot smoking.....address it. Don't decide anything until you talk things out. But eventually you will have to decide what you are willing to put up with and what's best for your new family. You aren't 18 yr olds with no responsibilities now. I'm as hard core as they come but you can't be doing that sh*t and trying to take care of a baby.
2007-09-12 7:51 pm
Have you confronted him about the ill effects of pot smoking on the baby.? Do so, and get it out into the air. You knew about him before your marriage why worry about it now. The depression should not become an obsession with you. If there is some post pregnancy symptoms get counseling.
Spartawo...
Spartawo...
2007-09-12 7:51 pm
Having a new baby is alot of work, part of your stress is from being tired, is he helping you at all? He might be a little stressed too, thats why he is getting high. When your baby is taking a nap try and relax and do something you enjoy, call a friend, watch something on tv or get a babysitter and go out with some friends. Your baby might pick up on your mood and it might effect her as well. This sounds really bad, but you might wanna join your husband smoking pot, it will relax you and if its not spiced with anything you can still function. (But try and do it if while the babies sleep or gone)
2007-09-12 7:50 pm
Try smoking pot. It helps.
And get off your husband's back! Your re-adjustment to your new baby is driving a wedge between you, because you obviously don't realize that he's been through a lot, too. The pot smoking is a minor way of getting rid of the stress, since it's likely YOU haven't been feeling like banishing his stress lately. Cut the guy some slack, or be prepared for a long and miserable relationship. And get treated for post partum.
And get off your husband's back! Your re-adjustment to your new baby is driving a wedge between you, because you obviously don't realize that he's been through a lot, too. The pot smoking is a minor way of getting rid of the stress, since it's likely YOU haven't been feeling like banishing his stress lately. Cut the guy some slack, or be prepared for a long and miserable relationship. And get treated for post partum.
2007-09-12 7:50 pm
Have you felt depressed since you had the baby? it sounds like you could be describing post partum depression. I would look into some counseling. I know you are probably upset with your husband for smoking..but is that the real reason why you are depressed? It is important you recognize your depression because many women have let the depression after having a baby take over their lives and they end up hurting someone they love. What about joining a new mom's support group? Or talking to a friend you feel comfortable with?
Good Luck, I commend you for recognizing your feelings and the willingness to ask questions to get help for you and your family.
Good Luck, I commend you for recognizing your feelings and the willingness to ask questions to get help for you and your family.
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