中四英文作文...........20點

My hobby is watching TV and playing computer games. I live in Kwun Tong and I go to Tseung Kwan O for work every morning. I work as a part-time waitress in a restaurant.
I go to school by thirty minutes bus after school and then I go back home for four more hours. This is my daily routine schedule and I think is busy for me. However, since wealth and knowledge are both important in Hong Kong, I will apply for finish this 2 years course for enriching my life.

有D唔係她ARM呢~下面係我修改的版本:

My hobby is watching TV and playing games. I live in Kuwn Tong and i work at a restaurant in Tueng Kuan every morning. i am a waitness but it is only a past time job. After working, i go to school by bus. The lesson lasts for four hours. And i back home after school times. I think i am so busy as my timetable is really full. Although i feel tired, i should work hard. Because i know that it is imperative to have enough money and knowledge in Hong Kong. Therefore i will endeavor to finish the course in coming two years. Hoping that i can have a comfotable life in the future.

希望幫到你啦~!!

you may say

My hobbies are watching TV and playing computer games
I live in Kuwn Tong
I am a partime waitress and work in a resturant everyday( but u know waitress of cox work in resturant, so it is a bit odd, so u better say where is your resturant and wht kind of resturant it is ( shanghai food?, thai food?)
Then, I will take 30mins to school by bus and study for 4 hours.
After that, I will go back home. These are my daily schedule.
I feel so busy, however, money and knowledge are imperative in HK.
Therefore, I will try my best in these two years to finish the course so that my future life would become better.

我既英文程度謹至此, hope it might give u some help

my hobby is watching TVand playing computer game.i live in Kuwn Tong and i everyday morning go to Tueng Kuan O for work at a reaturant.my career is waitness but only is past-time job.after my work i will take by bus to school for four or hours .Finish the lesson and go back home.this is my everyday schsus ,i feel so busy but i konw money and konwledge is imperative in Hong Kong .so i will applivation to finish this two years for course.because i want to my life become fine.