Do you think giving my husband his cup of coffee and doing his laundry would make me his "maid service"?

Just tell them to run their own d** house and not worry about how yours is ran!

Since they're your family why don't you just tell them to stop making the comments because it bothers you and you are happy doing the domestic chores around the house. As long as you are ok doing the chores & it seems like you enjoy cooking etc. then try not to let the comments bother you. My husband works & I stay home with our son & I do everything around the house. It really doesn't bother me..I wouldn't say that I enjoy cleaning, cooking etc. but I do feel that it's only fair for me to do these things because my husband works very hard. He is good with helping though if I ask him. Call me old fashioned but I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing!

Bluntly tell them to stay out of your business. And don't you discuss your business with any of them. You are doing what you suppose to do. I sure would like to know if their husbands are doing half of the work while they stay at home too. You are too easy with them. You have not told them in the right tone. Try not to accept any thing from them that's considered help for your family. When you do that give them room to be in your business. But not the right. Keep doing what you are doing and try to stay with your children's father. If he become abusive then that's when you and the children go on you own. As long as he is taking care of you all. Be a faithful and dedicated wife and mother.

As long as you and your spouse doesn't have a problem with you doing all the household chores and the cooking and the child rearing and it gets things done, then it isn't any of your outside family's business, how things run in your house. Write your mom, aunts and sisters and tell them to stop telling you what to do and how things should run in your house. They are not your first priority, they become the lower priority. Your husband and children are your first priority. I wouldn't invite people to my spouse if they kept ordering me around, they won't be able to visit until they respect me.

I can tell you right now, your meddling relatives are going to be the downfall of your marriage. Even people who can afford maids, some prefer to do it themself or don't want a person in their home. How would you feel if your husband's family told him how to treat you, or said he shouldn't give you money for your nails? You would be furious. If your husband supports you financially & is a good man, then I don't see any issue. The best way to handle your family is to say, "well we have an agreement now, he pays me the money & instead of hire a maid, I pocket it." That will shut them up.

You are being a damn good wife. Your husband works hard and deserves to come home and know that his awesome wife is taking care of the home and the children. Dont let your family tell you different, they might be a little envious that you do the house work with joy and they are just tired of it all....if you feel honored and more than happy to please your husband in that way, than keep doing what your doing. Just make sure you have limits along the way and dont get him too used to you doing everything that he becomes lazy and possibly take advantage of your helpfulness. Make sure he too, once in a while, does a little something for you and he wont know to do it unless you ask him. Sometimes men are not programmed to think emotionally and remember to open the door for you or offer to carry the heavy bags. so we as women have to remind them to. But your doing a good job by not letting "their" negative comments get in the way of what you feel is right. And make sure he "pleasures" you in the bedroom, dont let him be the only one to have an orgasm, dang it, you need one too!

I believe it all depends on the attitude, from the way you put it I think you have a completely health attitude. You can be very productive when you take care your family well. It's not a easy job. As long as you, your husband and the kids all feel happy and comfortable it doesn't matter what other people said. After all, it's your own family not theirs. I go out to work and on saturday I cook a good breakfast for my husband and kid I'll also make him coffee even with cream and sugar the way he likes it. It just a respect. I never think i'm his maid. It just makes me feel good when I see my family is happy and there's nothing wrong with it.

you are right. do watever u feel good. plus, its ok to do all this stuff. cooking, cleaning, washing. only because u do enjoy it and u want to do it. not because u have to for the sake of it. u are at home with the kids, and i can tell that u really like to keep urself busy and thats a great thing. a fantastic thing and i bet ur husband really appreciate you and the things u do. he works hard to support the family, pay the bills, pay the morgage, put food on the table, clothes & toys for the kids perhaps. try to explain to ur family that what they think is wrong. they r just misunderstanding. let them no straight out that u dun want to hear it anymore & that ur happy. plus, tell them that ur husband can do half the chores, that is, if your working as well....... hes already doing his job....let them think about it.

You are right. You are doing your part in your family. You have no problems with anything you are doing--it even makes you feel good about yourself.. They are wrong. Tell them to shush up that kind of talk or dont come over or call until they can. Tell them you are happy and your family is happy and you feel good about what you are doing and for them to leave it be. (sounds like they might be a wee bit jealous!)
And honestly, I think you and your husband are doing a very good job of sharing responsibility and you are both happy with your roles in the marriage.. I say--Good for YOu Both!!

If you husband is happy with what you do for him and if you are happy for what you do for him and the family, then you just need to keep doing it. Your mom, your aunts, and your sisters need to keep their mouth shut and mind their own business.

You are not married to them, you are married to your husband and a mother of your kids. What you are doing is all good. It is showing your husband and kids that you love them and that you care for their needs. Just like your husband goes out and works, because he does it for you and the kids.

You are taking up a role of being a 'wife' and being a 'mother' to your family. They are wrong for saying you are taking the role of a "domestic helper". If they try to put a 'stay-at-home mom down, tell them that you no longer appreciate their behavior and if they want to visit then they need to be more respectful, if not, no need to visit. You do those things because you love your family. Your husband is one lucky man to have a wife like you!

Don't worry too much about your mom, aunts, and sisters, if you do, it wouldn't be fair to your husband and kids to see you all upset. Your a great wife and mother!

If your husband is working outside the home, why is it not consider splitting the work for YOU to be working INSIDE the home? Now, of course, he should be expected to help out on occasion (especially with the kids! They need an active father in their lives!) because your work at home is a 24 hour job and his is definitely not. If you are comfortable with things and he is too, and you are sure he isn't taking advantage of you... then doing chores for him is fine.
Now, to shut them up. Calmly explain to them that their are two jobs needed in a functioning household: one where you go to a job and work for around 9 hours and the other where you work inside the home (cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, etc.). Tell them that to split that necessary work evenly, you have decided with your husband that he should be the one to go off to work and you would like to be the one who stays at home. Tell them about how your husband will occasionally take the kids out for an evening so you can relax for a while or how he really loves to iron (or whatever it is that your husband does, even if it's odd jobs). Let them know that you are completely okay with the situation and that you think it is fair and even, and mention how much you enjoy making your husband happy. Tell them that he enjoys making you happy too (that's why he sometimes surprises you with flowers or a phone call from work or randomly telling you how much he loves you, which is something guys don't normally do). Good luck! And if none of this works, just tell them it's absolutely NONE of their business and change the topic immediately.