請幫我批改英文日記(得幾句)(萬分感謝)

It's __the__first time__for me__ to write__/__ diary in English today. There __maybe quite a lot of __ mistake but I will try my best in __the__future.

Today I got up at 9:30a.m. because I __had__ to __go__ to school and got my book_s_(it's very heavy).Then I took the minibus(__no.__808) and had _l_unch in _F_airwood.

After __having__the lunch, I returned home and started to __have revision on the subjects__ including _C_hinese , _E_nglsih, _M_aths __and__ _A_ccount_s_. In fact, I was very tired but _I_ __had__ never give up because I __determined to__ get a good result in HKCEE.

This is my first time to write my diary in English. I believe that there may be some mistakes on it, but I will try my best to make it better in future.

I wake up at 9:30a.m today because I had to collect my book from school. It was very heavy. Then, I took the minibus No.808 to the Fairwood Fast Food Restaurant for lunch.

After the lunch, I returned home and started my revision for HKCEE. The subjects include Chinese, English, mathematics and accounting. Actually, I was very tired but I would never give up. I hope I can get a good result in HKCEE.

original:It's first time to type my diary in English today, there is many mistake but I will try my best in future.

Today I got up at 9:30a.m because I needed to back to school and got my book(it's very heavy).Then I took the minibus(808) and had hunch in fairwood.

After the lunch, I returned home and started to revise ,including chinese , englsih, maths, account. In fact, I was very tired but i never give up because I must get a good result in HKCEE.

After corrected:
It's my first time to write my diary in English, there are many mistakes but I will try my best in the future.

Today I got up at 9:30 in the morning because I need to go to school to get my book(it's very heavy). Then I took the 808 minibus and lunch in Fairwood.

After that, I went home and started to revise Chinese, English, Maths and Account. In fact, I was very tired but I did not give up because I must get a good result in HKCEE.

It's my first time to write a diary in english, there are many mistakes but i will try my best in the future.

This morning, I got up at 9.30 a.m. because i needed to go back school to pick up my books (they're very very heavy). Then i took the route 808 and had lunch in a fairwood fastfood restaurant.

After lunch, i returned home and started to revise chinese, english, maths and account. Although i was very tired, i will never give up because i must get a good result in HKCEE.