希望英語老友們為我批改 +指導 (Advanced Level)

My ultimate goal in learning English is to improve myself whilst gaining a competitive edge in a dynamic working environment such as Hong Kong.
it is an ultimate goal. so there should only be one."to get a self improvement" is not correct. simply use "improve myself" is enough."in such a dynamic working environment in Hong Kong" is incorrect. you can either say "in such a dynamic working environment AS IN hong kong" or "in a dynamic working environment such as hong kong". the later is better because it is simpler. you should always keep your sentences simple.


Frankly, sometimes I feel it is an arduous path to advance in English learning due to the lacking of guidance provided for intermidiates such as myself."like me" is spoken english. you should use "such as myself".
use "advance" to replace "improve further". again, it is simpler.
"those who are at intermediate level" is long-winded. use "intermediate learners" or simply "intermediates" would be fine.



From libraries, bookstores and the internet, I strive to obtain relevant information which would help ameliorate my literate and aural skills.
replace "at pains to" with "strive", "writing" with "literate" and "listening" with "aural". these words are more elegant.
you "escalate" a situation, but you "improve" your skills. however "improve" has been used a few times here so you should use another word to avoid being repetitive. so we use "ameliorate".


2007-08-15 19:57:42 補充：
1. yes. you can omit the "in" or leave it in the sentence. the meaning is the same.

2007-08-15 19:58:02 補充：
2. "intermediate" could be an adjective, a noun or an intransitive verb. "intermediates" here is used as a noun meaning " one that is intermediate ". so it is ok to call intermediate learners "intermediates".

2007-08-15 19:58:14 補充：
but "advanced" is an adjective only. so you cannot say "the advanceds". also, if you try to pronounce "advanceds", you will find that it sounds strange and gets your tongue tangled!

2007-08-15 20:00:47 補充：
so you will have to use "advanced learner" or "advanced learners"