英文ok既人請進柩(送分題)

我既英文唔算好好~不過都可以幫你睇睇~


1.第二句改 I also felt hopeless/ Also, I felt hopeless.
不過最好係將頭兩句連埋。I felt so upset and hopeless......
2.I had got...刪去had應該會好d.
3.the rap，the 係指明來自某人既責備，the rap from my mother.
4.I thought I am the poorest damsel in the world at that time, but my mother forgave me afterward.
為免句子太累贅，at that time放到後面。most 同adj+est一齊會重複，刪去most。用afterward好似好過later. forgive改過去式.
5.,and she only..and 前面冇“，”
6.more hard 改 harder.

你呢篇係咩文？周記..日記定學校既作文？
如果係日記，可以任你講笑，但如果係學校既作文，最好正經少少。

基本上都ok既,不過呢句I felt so upset today, also I felt hopeless. It was because I had got a very bad result in my exam.個到because之前唔使It was就好d,即係把佢改成I felt so upset today, also I felt hopeless because I had got a very bad result in my exam.仲有,but later my mother forgive me改成but later , my mother forgive me最後,講多句,and she only reminded me to work more hard next time.呢句可以改成and she only reminded me more worked hard to next time.

呢d只係我既個人意見,你可以唔聽我講

2007-06-27 19:43:25 補充：
仲有,呢句but later my mother forgive me既forgive應該改成forgave,同埋, I thought that I am the most poorest damsel(少女)in the world既most poorest 唔使要個most,因為poorest已經包含左most既意思,你再寫most就會重複左嫁啦俾心機啦~~努力!!加油!!

ok la!長氣點,i helped u correct.


I felt so upset and hopeless.It was because I got a very bad result in my exam. Of course, I got the rap at that time, I thought that I am the poorest damsel(少女)in the world, but later my mother forgive me(because I am her lovely, beautiful and clever daughter, hehe, just joking), and she only reminded me to work harder next time. (My mother is the kindest mother in the world)

2007-06-28 19:41:13 補充：
下次唔好這麼長氣,我幫你改有:1. I felt so upset today, also I felt hopeless. =I felt so upset and hopeless.2. I thought that I am the most poorest damselin the world =I thought that I am the poorest damsel(少女)in the world呢個同上文一樣,我怕你睇不明而己!!@

2007-06-28 19:43:23 補充：
3. work more hard next time =work harder next time4. forgive me =forgave me

" the most poorest " 應轉做 " the poorest "
but later my mother " forgive " me 應轉做 " fogave "
work " more hard " 應轉做 " harder "

ok,but I think the''(because I am her lovely, beautiful and clever daughter, hehe, just joking)''no write is very good.

第一句已有兩個felt唔好
可用not only... but also...
most poorest????
more hard????
你咩格式?有hehe唔係幾得-.-

你篇文OK啦..........