我想要一些英文笑話(好笑,易明白)急10點

( 1 )
Young doctor: Well, Dad, now that I'm hanging out my shingle, can you give me some rules for success?
Father: Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills very plainly.
年輕的醫生：爸，現在我都掛牌開診了，你能告訴我些成功之道？
父親：總是把藥方寫得難以辨認，而帳單卻清清楚楚。




( 2 )
The Bishop spoke to the congregation about the shortage of priests and nuns.


"Too many of you are only having one child and letting them go off into other professions. I propose that each family should have three children: one for the father, one for mother and one for the church."


A few days later, the bishop was out shopping when he saw a pregnant woman from his parish. But before he could say hello, she shouted above the crowd,"This one is yours, Bishop!"




( 3 )
Three best friends lived together on 36/F in a building. One day when they were going home after seeing a movie, they found the lift not on service. They had to walk upstairs home


A said : 'Let me sing a song.' After he finished the song, they arrived at 10/F.
B said : 'Let me tell you a story.' After he finished the story, they arrived at 20/F.
C said : 'Let me tell you a joke......' After he finished telling the joke, they arrived at 35/F.
A & B said : 'Your joke is so funny ! Tell us one more !'
C said : 'Sure.............Our key left on ground floor !'
A and B: ..........



( 4 ) Some time ago, zoo officials in Kirby Misperton, England, had to pay visitors for articles that were often stolen by monkeys. But what puzzled them was the favorite item the animals snatched : eyeglasses.


A thorough investigation revealed the reason.


The monkeys grabbed the glasses when the visitors leaned over to read a small sign on the wall of the cage.


And the sign said: “ Beware!! Those monkeys steal spectacles. ”




( 5 )
“ Will you marry again if I died ? ” Wife asked.
“ No ! ” Husband answered firmly.
“ Uh uh, don't lie to me, I’m sure you will. ”
“ OK. May be I will. ” Husband sighed reluctantly.
“ Will you share my bed with her ? ”
“ Yeah, may be I will. ”
“ Will you let her use my Golf clubs? ”
“ No. She is a left hander ! ”




( 6 )
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies.


The nurse came up to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you get twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the agent of China Twins." After a while the nurse came up to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you get triplets." Man is cheerful, "Hmmm, I work as a director for the 3 M."


Then, the nurse came up to the third man and said "Congratulations, you get quadruplets." Man was happy and said, "Ironic, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel. All three of them were happy until they saw their last buddy jumping all over the place, murmuring to himself and banging his head on the wall.


They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7 Up !" (七喜公司)




( 7 )
Teacher : What is the chemical formula for water ?
Sarah : HIJKLMNO.
Teacher : What are you talking about ?
Sarah : Yesterday you said it's H to O.




參考資料:
http://motranslator.mysinablog.com/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=353955
Reader’s Digest (July 2006) http://hk.knowledge.yahoo.com/question/?qid=7007052203827
http://hk.knowledge.yahoo.com/question/?qid=7007052203827&others=1
http://motranslator.mysinablog.com/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=372904
http://hk.knowledge.yahoo.com/question/?qid=7006111502472