緊急~~~我想用1分鐘講一個英文笑話，要中二程度！加埋笑話的中文翻譯~THX~~~( 10〕分

The Examination

Mr. Snowden undressed for the doctor's examination. "I am going to press on various parts of your body," said the doctor. "Tell me if it hurts or not." The doctor prodded until he found a sensitive spot. "How long has it hurt you there?" inquired the doctor. "Approximately three months. But it really doesn't hurt much." "According to my X rays, lab reports, and my examination I think we'll have to operate." "Oh,no!" moaned Mr. Snowden. "There's nothing to worry about," declared the doctor, "With our modern anesthetics and know-how, it won't hurt a bit." "How much will the operation cost?" "With the hospitalization and my fee─about fifteen hundred dollars." Mr. Snowden groaned, "Now, that really hurts!"

檢查

斯諾登先生脫下了衣服給醫生檢查。 " 我將會按你身體的各部分" 醫生說。 " 告訴我如果它傷害或不" 醫生刺了，直到他發現了一個敏感斑點。 " 它多久傷害了你那裡？" 醫生詢問了。 " 大約三個月。 但是它真正地不太傷害我." " 根據我的X光照片、實驗室報告和我認為的檢查, 我認為必須動手術." " 噢，不要! " 斯諾登先生呻吟道。 " 沒什麼憂慮， " 醫生宣稱， " 與我們的現代痳醉和技術，它不會叫你受傷害." " 多少手術費？" " 住院治療和我的人工約一千五百元." 斯諾登先生呻吟了， " 現在，真的很傷害! "

Some time ago, zoo officials in Kirby Misperton, England, had to pay visitors for articles that were often stolen by monkeys. But what puzzled them was the favourite item the animals snatched : eyeglasses.

A thorough investigation revealed the reason.

The monkeys grabbed the glasses when the visitors leaned over to read a small sign on the wall of the cage.

And the sign said: “ Beware!! Those monkeys steal spectacles. ”