商業英文信,幫我睇下有無錯

Please note that the sentence "Thank you for your kind attention" is a jargon and had lost its original meaning since a long time ago.

So, I advise you to not include it in your letter. But after all, it is up to you to decide.

And my revisied version is as follows:

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This refers to the captioned subject, and we would like to reply to you the following for your confirmation.

1. Attached please find the Staff CV for carrying out maintenance services of
the ventilation system of the carpark, Whampoa Garden.

2. Attached please also find the organization chart and the emergency contact list.

Thank you.

1. The staff CV for carrying out maintenance services for car park ventilation system at Whampoa Garden is attached.