文法改正 (10分)

"She was unkind too" unkind 解 無情的,不厚道的,不親切的 唔多正確
" Therefore " 用so 比較 easy to明
"But it wasn't true. She only shouted about what things she need and 吩咐牠去做。",
"But it wasn't true. <-here用 , 好d
吩咐牠去做。-> ask Spotty(距有名的,要多加留意)to do somethings what she want it to do
"When Cinderella said what it had to do, it did certainly. "
->when<- here用whenever i think you want to write 牠任何時候都能把work做好
->said<- 用asked
...仲有等你自己黎

Once upon a time, there was an ugly girl called Cinderella. She did not have any relatives, only a dog called Spotty. Cinderella had no friends, because she was not a kind girl at all, is unhelpful and does not care about anything.

(ngo ng hai ho ming wt this paragraph is about, do u want to say that people Thought that she was always yelling at her dog? but in fact she did not??)anyways:

She was not nice to her dog either. She often shouted towards Spotty, yelling at him(her), commanding it (吩咐牠去做). For a while, Spotty had did what she had said, but eventually, it left her. Cinderella was alone.

Cinderella was left alone now. She had no friends, no relatives, even her dog left her. She thought to herself why she had no friends, why even her dog, Spotty , suposingly to be a 'man's best friend' fled away from her. At last it came to her, she knew she had to change.

A fairy who noticed Cinderella's dramatic change really commended her for leaving her old habits behind(欣賞灰姑娘肯改掉陋習), and decided to change her to a beautiful girl. She moved her wand around in circles in the air, drawing out magical powers. She touched Cinderella with the tip of her wand, and BOOM! Cinderella changed from an ordinary girl to a beautiful princess wearing the prettiest clothes in the universe. She was now transformed - from an ugly, unhelpful girl to a kind, beautiful princess. She made a lot of friends, and everyone around her loved her.

(i think this paragraph gor idea jump duc too fast, i think u should add more to this last paragraph)
Two years have already passed. One day, the prince of Denmark passed by Cinderella's town. They fell in love at first sight. The prince proposed to her, and Cinderella willingly accepted it. The prince took her hand and lead her back to his castle, and they lived happily ever after!