可否幫我睇下份RESUME有咩要改

你封信學名叫 covering letter 唔係 resume. Resume 係將你嘅 objective, education, experience, skills, reference 之類詳細列明, 等收信人容易了解你嘅背景, 你呢封 covering letter 係應該同 resume 一齊寄出.
我有小小意見關於你封信:
1. 應該有你嘅地址
2. 應該有收信人地址
3. 你點知收信人係 Sir 唔係 Madame, 如果收信人係女仕; 佢多數掉你封信落垃圾桶, 應該寫 Dear Sir/Madame
4. 你打字方法唔正統, full stop 之後應該係 double space, 、唔係 single space. 好似 "....in Business Management."bb"At present, ....." 唔係 "...in Business Management."b"At present, ....."
5 你寫咗五段嘢, 有四段都用 "I" 做開頭, 比啲心機再唸過, 你假假地都係大學畢業;唔好寫啲嘢好似小學生咁.
6 最好你啲電話號碼, 依貓之類放响 resume 度, 唔好放响 covering letter

Sorry, 我對你有多少苛刻, 但都係想你好

1. 首先求識信係cover letter, 唔係covering letter!
2. 你唔知收信嘅人名, 用Sir/ Madame, 就用Yours faithfully.
3. 第一句改寫成I am writing to apply for the position of xxxxx advertised in the xxx of (date). Please find enclosed a copy of my CV.
4. 唔係studying a course, instead you should write doing Japanese course or taking xxx course. (state this in your CV)
5. 我個人認為唔洗提你係fresh graduate, 就咁graduate 就得
6. 唔好成日用will, 改用could, 肯定D
7. 內容麻麻, 冇乜sell 到你自己, 如果有work experience, you should mention it in the cover letter; try to relate the experience to the job you are now applying
8. 寫I look forward to hearing from you 好D, 唔好提咩discuss further 啦
9. 最後用Thank you very much for your time and consideration on this matter. 埋尾感覺良好D.

Wish you all the best!!

2007-05-09 11:21:59 補充：
sorry, one spelling mistake, it should be 'madam', not 'madame'.

你卦係求職信唔係RESUME