(15點)急!!!入嚟幫我改下篇eng 作文

Fire. I never thought much about fire except for the use of cooking
and for keeping warm, what couldn't it do though?
It was bright, twinkling, and burning my leg, my head, my body. Everything came so
suddenly. I couldn't believe what happened to
myself yesterday. Was it a dream? Did it really happen?
Could I wake up now?

Morning. It was the hottEST day of the summer, I got a phone
call from my dad. He promised he would take me
to have a great travel with bicycle around America.
I liked it. Riding the bicycle with my dad, under the sunshine as well as the breeze. Riding to the beach which was near, and had a great day in
the sea. It was a cheerful and relaxing idea.

When I was preparing, I saw a big flame out of the
window, than I went out and took a phone to call help but that was too late.
A tree had fell and bear down my leg
"Oh, Help me! Help me!” I shouted. But nobody answered; they were too far down the town.
It was hot, the fire was engulfing me, I even tried to move, but I couldn't.

The fire was burning my leg, I never felt helplessness and
and pain, but they both appeared to torment
me now, I cried but it was not enough to put out the fire.

The fireman eventually came, I saw him coming, he was standing outside of the garden. Is he waiting for me?

"I'm sorry, I can't come with you Dad", I thought to myself. I disappeared in the forest of fire and it seemed I would never came back again.





I tried to keep most of what you have, and elaborated on your ideas by adding a word here and there. This is a pretty clean copy of you story without changing what is yours, i hope you'll like it. By the way, nice story, i had a good time proof reading it, i hope it didn't really happend to you though.

Fire, I have never thought about the uses of fire, apart from that it can cook food and for providing heat to give us warmth. Other than that, what are its functions? Fire is bright, twinkling and burns on some parts of my body. However, everything happened so suddenly; I can’t believe what happened yesterday to me. Did it actually happen? Can I wake up and return to the reality?

In the morning, while it was the hottest day during this summer, I had a phone call from my dad; he promised me that he will take me to out for a bicycle ride around America. I like cycling. Cycling with my dad under the sun as well as having some breeze to the beach is especially enjoyable. Having a nice day near the sea is so cheerful and relaxing.

When I was getting ready to go out, I saw a big flame outside the window, just as I was about to go out to call for help, the tree clasped down and fell on top of my leg. I shouted for help but no one could hear me as I was far away from the main streets. It was boiling hot and the fire was getting closer and closer to me as time went by, I tried to move but I couldn’t.

The fire was burning my legs; I have never felt such helplessness and pain before. I cried but no one was there to help me out of the fire.

When I saw the firemen standing outside, I waited for them to come in to help me. Were they thinking of how to get in to help me?

I am so sorry that I couldn’t come with you; I disappeared into the fire and never came back.

Fire, i never though about the function of fire, apart from it can use as for cooking need and for the traditional heater and give us warm. other than that, what is their function? fire is bright, twinkling and burning on some parts of my body. however, everything came suddenly, i cant believe what happened yesterday on me. did it?? could i wake up and come back to the reality?

In the morning, it was the most hotest day in this summer, i had a phone call from my dad, he promised methat he will take me to travelling by bicyle around the America. i like rididng bicycle. Riding bike with dad under the sunshine as well as breeze and riding on the way to the beach are the enojoying ever. had a nice day near the sea which was so cherful and relaxing things ever.

when i was preparing, i saw a big falme outside the window, as i was wanting to go out and call for help, it was too late for me. the tree fell down and dropped on my leg. i shouted out ' help me ' help me', however, no one answered me as well as it is far away from the main town. it was boiling hot and the fire close to me, i tried to move but i cant.

the fire was buring my leg, i had never felt so helpness and painful before, but this time they both appeared on me. i cried but there is no help for me to get out of fire.

when i saw the firmen was coming award me, they were standing outside of the garden, is he waiting for me?

i am so sorry that i cant come with you, i disappeared in the forest fire and never come back.

this is the new version of your essay

First of all, its grammar, not gammer

Fire,i've never thought about it except cooking and keeping something warm. What can it do is to brightening and twinkling. And one thing that i cannot believe is that it burnt my body yesterday. It came in a sudden, was it just a dream?did it? ""can i wake up now?"" < -- ??

Sorry.....i was trying to edit it for you....but i give up...i don't really get what you are trying to say.....you are using chin-nglish...you better re-write them...if i have time..i'll edit it again...