Why do people always call me "Miss"?

At least it rhymes with "abyss" and you certainly seem to *miss* the 80s. The hard part will be when people start calling you ma'am... and judging by your picture I'm thinking that could be any day now.

BTW... could I get a goth black coffee to go with my Cinnabon please?

If I had to talk to a stranger, and she was a girl and a little older than me, then "Miss" would be how I'd address her.

And well, if you call your friend a "girlfriend", then it's obvious where "lesbian" is coming from.