請幫忙改作文

「I have my best friend. Her name is carol. 」= 又長, 又悶.. 要改
「She is very kind and happy.」 = 佢系個開心果, 英文用cheerful.
「 She smiles all day.」= 成日咁開心系用always呢~~~
=> Carol is my best friend. She is very kind and cheerful with lovely smile always.

「When I am in a bad mood. She will comfort me. When I am happy. She will share with my joy. 」=又長, 又悶.. 要改 ==> 其實講來講去咪系「分享」/「照顧」.......
=> No matter I am happy or in a bad mood, she always (share interests with me) / (takes care me).

「She likes playing computer games. We love to talk to each other about PC games.」
= 因為>> 你地中意一齊傾電腦games, 先至會分享, 所以=大家都中意啦. 而且, 里句又長, 又悶.. 要改. 唔洗前後出現computer games同埋PC games啦
=> As we like playing computer games a lot, we share our thoughts always.

「Sometimes she helps me to do homework.」= 如果真系佢幫,唔系唔得, 不過話曬功課就唔好咁寫. 話佢教你做功課會好啲.
「 She is good at English. She always gets good marks in it. She is the first of my class.」
= 里兩句次序唔改有啲怪.. 不如先講佢成績好, 所以教你會好啲.. logically啲.
=> She is good (IN) English with (high marking). As her enblish is ranked as the best in my class, she teaches me doing homework sometimes.

2007-04-27 02:52:19 補充：
整句第一part :Carol is my best friend. She is very kind and cheerful with lovely smile always. No matter I am happy or in a bad mood, she always (share interests with me) / (takes care me). As we like playing computer games a lot, we share our thoughts always.

2007-04-27 02:53:31 補充：
整句第2part : 因為太多句, 加個連接詞好啲.(Besides), She is good (IN) English with (high marking). As her english is ranked as the best in my class, she teaches me doing homework sometimes.

2007-04-27 02:55:14 補充：
整句第一part : (另一寫法 留意最後一句)Carol is my best friend. She is very kind and cheerful with lovely smile always. No matter I am happy or in a bad mood, she always (share interests with me) / (takes care me). (Moreover,) we like playing computer games a lot (and share) our thoughts always.

Hope I can help you... I discover that many answers above are wrong...

My best friend is Carol. She is always kind and happy. She smiles all day. When I am in a bad mood, she comforts me. When I am happy, I share with her my joy. She likes playing computer games. We love to chat about PC games. Sometimes she helps me with the homework. She is good at English. She always gets satisfactory marks in tests. Her academic result is the first in my class. I hope our friendship will last forever.

Carol is my best friend. She always smile and kind to everyone. She will comfort me when I am down and share my joy when I am happy. PC game is our common subject for chats. She helps me to do homework too. Her English is good and her score is top in our class. I treasure our friendship to last forever.
大部份用原意，簡化寫法。直接。減低扣分機會。

http://fanyi.cn.yahoo.com/?source=0U

I have a best friend. Her name is Carol. She is very kind and happy. She smiles all days. When i am in a bad mood. She will comfort me. When i am happy. She will share with my joy. She likes playing computer games. We love to talk to each other about PC games. Sometimes she helps me to do homework. She is good at English. She always gets good marks in it and she is the first of my class. I hope our friendship will last forever.

Your writting is clear and concise:) If you are a middle schooler, you should be proud of your English. Just try to connect similar ideas with conjunctions, such as and, or, for example etc. Doing that will improve your writting. ok :)

carol is my best, she is a happy girl and always has smile on her face. whenever i'm not happy, she comforts me. and when i'm happy, i like to share my joy with her. she likes to play computer games and PC games is our common conversation. i often ask help on hw from her. she always get a high mark in english and she is ranked to be the first in my class. i hope our friendship will last forever.

Carol is my best friend. She always very happy, she smiles all day. She is very kind too.When I am in a bad mood, she will comfort me. When I am happy, I will share my joy with her. She likes playing computer games. We love to talk to each other about PC games.
Carol is good at English, she always get high marks in tests, she is the first in our class. Sometimes she teachs me to do homeworks. I hope our friendship will last forever.

改好了! 其實你幾年班，要作d 咁既野....
我改左少少內容，就係唔好咁直接話佢幫你做功課，話佢教你呀嘛，咁老師就會高興d xDD Grammar 都無咩唔arm ，就係有d唔通順。
英文呢d野睇多d，聽多d就得嫁啦，唔一定好辛苦既

唔肯定100% arm, 有錯再繼續改啦.... =]