翻譯為Eng

我嘗試用別人的例子來改正, 不要見怪。紅色為需要更改的字, ( )內為改變。

I hope that the Housing Department will consider my advice (suggestions) and improve the above problem and will (by sending) officers (somebody else) to check (inspect) the environment(al) and hygienic condition of the place.
更正後:
I hope that the Housing Department will consider my suggestions and improve the above problem by sending somebody else to inspect the environmental and hygienic condition of the place.

是否有通順的感覺？

I hoped the dwelling may above consider myself opinion, improves thequestion. Sends the personnel to inspect local the environment and the hygienicsituation

I hope that the Housing Department will consider my advice and improve the above problem and will send officers to check the environment and hygienic condition of the place.