我想問poem

你可以改為
Friends.Friends,friends <=符號後字型注意一下
I share my things with them.
They are nice and friendly to me.
I and happy (of having them) <=會好少少
Friends are good. 因為你所指並不只是一個
I must treasure( them )and give love to them. Peo.注意一下
I like to go shopping with them. <=依句完全不明意思
I also play something with them. <=請不要胡亂地使用Furture Tence

Friend.friend,friend-----> Friend(用,)friend,friend
i will share my things with them.-----> i will(加always) share my things with them
They are nice and friendly to me.-----> OK
I am happy and i have them.-----> 改成: I am happy to have them around.
Friend is good.-----> 改成: It is great when you have friends around.
I must treasure and give love them.-----> 改成: We can do things together that we would enjoy
I would gone shopping by themselves.-----> 改成 : Playing, Shopping,everything!!
I will also play something with them.-----> 改成:I must treasure and love them forever.

*******成首poem會變成:

Friend,friend,friend
I will always share my things with them.
They are nice and friendly to me.
I am happy to have them around.
It is great when you have friends around.
We can do things together that we would enjoy,
Playing, Shopping,everything!!
I must treasure and love them forever.

第一，Friends一定要有s(你不會只得一個friend？)
I am happy and i have them可以改做I am happy to play with them

I must treasure and give love them？你想講什麼？give love them都文法都錯咗。love them 就可以了。

I would gone shopping by themselves？你又想講什麼？第一，gone改做go。第二，你冇理由話shopping by themselves，由人地去購物！又係冇理由朋友去shopping，你又唔去，你也有份的(如果是朋友)！

I will also play something with them。可直接寫play with them就可以了。

最後，本人認為你把them重複很太多，可以改改。

2007-04-19 18:22:56 補充：
上面嗰位，你不如同佢作晒成手詩！！