幫我改改!

Last week,more writer write for Lucy Lau at movie of hollywood(.Because )she is now a popular movie star.
Last week,more writer write for Lucy Lau at movie of hollywood because she is now a popular movie star.
(In) last Sunday,she visited to Hong Kong.
At last Sunday,she visited to Hong Kong.
First day,she arrival hall.More reporter was taking a photo for Lucy Lau(.So) she is feel very unhappy and toilsome.
First day,she arrival hall.More reporter was taking a photo for Lucy Lau,so she is feel very unhappy and toilsome.
(At afternoon) of second day,she went to shopping hall to meet her fans of fan club,when many wild fans surround with Lucy Lau.
In the afternoon of second day,she went to shopping hall to meet her fans of fan club,when many wild fans surround with Lucy Lau.

首先, 人名錯了, 係Lucy Liu (臺灣人).

Film critics write reviews for Hollywood movies on a daily basis. Last week, many of them were focused on Lucy Liu, because she visited Hong Kong that Sunday.
The day of her arrival, many reporters took photos of her at the airport, and she seemed to be unhappy and toilsome.
The afternoon of the next day, she stayed at a shopping mall to meet members of her fan club, and was surrounded by many wild fans!

如果你能逐句解釋提供多d資料我可以幫你改好d.. 因為有點疑問..
1. 你所指既影評係美國的, 還是香港的?
2. arrival hall, 係指機場?
3. 你睇得出佢唔開心定係佢話俾你聽? (淨係睇到既話, 應該用she seemed unhappy)
4. shopping hall 定係shopping mall? 如果說明邊一個商場會好d!
5. 係fan club 定係普通fans? (Fan club一定要入會, 通常同明星約會都係私人唔公開的)

第三句 "Because she is now a popular movie star" 唔係好用得著, 因為佢一向都係有名氣的!

如果指某一日, 唔可以用 in 架, 只可以用on. [e.g. She moved on Tuesday] 她星期二已搬走了.
未來既日子 (唔specific) 才可以用in. [e.g. I will move in 3 days] 三日後我會搬.

:)
Everyday,Many writer write film reviews for hollywood movies.Last week,more writer write for Lucy Lau at movie of hollywood.Because she is now a popular movie star.In last Sunday,she visited to Hong Kong.
First day,she arrival hall.More reporter was taking a photo for Lucy Lau.So she is feel very unhappy and toilsome.
At afternoon of second day,she went to shopping hall to meet her fans of fan club,when many wild fans surround with Lucy Lau.
1. Everyday,Many writer write film reviews for hollywood movies.
Everyday many writers write file reviews for Hollywood movies.
2. Last week,more writer write for Lucy Lau at movie of hollywood.Because she is now a popular movie star.In last Sunday,she visited to Hong Kong.
Last week, more wirters wrote for the Hollywood movies of Lucy Lau because she is now a popular movie star. Last Sunday, she visited Hong Kong. (she paid visite to Hong Kong)
3. First day,she arrival hall.More reporter was taking a photo for Lucy Lau.So she is feel very unhappy and toilsome.
In the first day of her visit, she met the reporters at the arrival hall of the airport and they took a lot of photos for her.
4. At afternoon of second day,she went to shopping hall to meet her fans of fan club,when many wild fans surround with Lucy Lau.
At the afternoon of the second day, she went to the shopping mall to meet her fans of "Lucy Fan Club" and not surprisingly she was surrounded by her wild superfans.

2007-04-01 01:44:10 補充：
1. "file" reviews should be written as "film" reviews. (sorry for the typo)3. 漏了這句......She (felt) very unhappy and (boring).

Everyday,many writers write films reviewing Hollywood movies.Last week,more writers wrote for Lucy Lau at movie of hollywood.Because she is now a popular movie star.On last Sunday,she visited Hong Kong.
First day,she arrival hall.More reporter was taking photos for Lucy Lau.So she felt very unhappy and toilsome.
In the afternoon of second day,she went to shopping hall to meet her fans of fan club, when many wild fans surround with Lucy Lau.

Everyday,Many writers write reviews for hollywood movies.Last week,more writers wrote about Lucy Lau's Hollywood movie because she is now a popular movie star.Last Sunday,she visited to Hong Kong.
First day,at the arrival hall, many reporters took photo of Lucy Lau.She felt very unhappy and toilsome.
In the afternoon of second day, she went to a shopping hall to meet fans of her fan club. She was surrounded by many excited fans.

2007-03-31 17:32:52 補充：
Last Sunday,she visited Hong Kong. (NOT "Last Sunday, she visited to Hong Kong.")

ok no wrong