呢段野有冇錯啊？

1.) This book is talking about peter and the other children living happy.

This story talks about Peter and other children living happily together.
OR
This book is about Peter and other children living happily together.

2.) Once,peter see a beautiful girl wendy and her brother,They having are war witn Pirates.

One day, Peter saw a beautiful girl called Wendy and her brother.
They were having a war with the Pirates.
OR
One day, Peter met a beautiful girl called Wendy and her brother.
They were in war with the Pirates.

3.)Last,they have a victory,they living happy again.

In the end, they have won the war and living happily once again.
OR
In the end, Peter led the children to victory against the pirates and they live happily after.

4.) I think this book is very good,bacuse the summary is very interesting.This book make me happy,so I think this book is suitable for my classmate.I will recommend this book for my classmate!

I think this is a good book because the story has an interesting summary. I feel happy after reading this book. I think this book is suitable for my age, and I will recommend this book to my classmate.

I think this is a better version of the talk:

This book is about Peter and other children living happily together. One day, Peter met a beautiful girl called Wendy and her brother (brother's name). They were in war with the Pirates. In the end, Peter led the children to victory against the Pirates and they live happily after. I think this is a good book because the story has an interesting summary. I feel happy after reading this book. I think this book is suitable for my age, and I will recommend this book to my classmate.

This book is talking about Peter and the other children lived happyily.One day,
Peter saw a beautiful girl-Wendy and her brother(what the brother's NAME???).They were having a war with Pirates.
At(the) last,they had a victory.They lived happily(can use the happy,I think not use the HAPPILY,BECAUSE I THINK IT WAS SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT)again.I think this book's summary is good,
because it is very interesting.(HERE CAN BE USE THE [,] IT WILL BE MORE RIGHT)(this)This book make me happy too,so, I think this book is
suitable for my classmates to read.I will recommend this book for them.

This book is talking about Peter and the other children living happly.One day,Peter saw a beautiful girl Wendy and her brother,They went into war against the Pirates.Lastly,they won a victory and they are living happly again.I think this book is very good,bacuse the ending is very interesting.This book make me happy,so I think this book is suitable for my classmate.I will recommend this book for my classmate!