有冇一至二個英文笑話?

1. I was helping a friend of mine with his roadside farm stand when a man stopped by and asked how much the eggs were. “Sixty cents for the small, 70cents for the medium, 90 cents for the large and 30 cents for the cracked ones,” I answered. “All right,” he said. “Crack me a dozen of the large ones.”


2. A DRUNK WALKED into a lounge. After staring at a beautiful woman who was sitting at the bar for ten minutes, he sauntered over to her and kissed her on the mouth. She jumped up and slapped him hard. "I'm sorry," he said. "I thought you were my wife. You look like her." "Ugh. Get away from me you worthless, insufferable, no-good drunk!" she yelled. "Wow," he said. "You even sound like her."


3. "Pour me a double whisky, I've just had an argument with my wife," Mike tells Charlie the bartender. "Oh, yeah?" says Charlie. "Who won?" "Put it like this," says Mike. "When it was all said and done, she came crawling to me on her hands and knees." "Really?" says Charlie. "What did she say?" "'Come out from under the bed you sniveling little coward.'&;quot;

http://www.loudjokes.com/
http://www.ahajokes.com/
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"

"A mongoose."

"What for?"

"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."

"But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."

"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."


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John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain.

When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.

"How did you like that jump, buddy?" said a proud John to a deck hand.

"It was great," said the sailor. "But why didn't you wait? We were just pulling in!"

Why is it always cold at football matches?
Because of all the fans*.
*fans:風扇/球迷

Why did the boy sit on his watch?
So that he could be on time*.
8on time:準時