文法有錯嗎?

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Hope the below helps!
The sentences should be correct after alteration.
Thanks!

5. Last night, Jake did not listen to his mother and fogot to return the silver package to the appropriate position. When Jake wakes up the next morning, the silver package has already gone. As a consequence, he has to look for it whole morning anxiously.

6. She treats me emotionlessly especially when she is speaking to me.


7. Every time she visits the grocery store nearby, she sees the same good-looking staff of the store. She feels every awkward whenever the handsome guy is checking her out.


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GGGGGGG OOOOOOO OOOOOOO DDDDDDDDD
~_~

5. Last evening, Jake didnt listen to his mother’s speech, did not return the sliver package to the appropriate position, finally, when he woke up today ,the sliver package had already lost, and he had sought a morning anxiously.

6. she is extremely apathetic when she converses with me.

7.Every time when she sees the clerk who works in her residence underground store , she feels very bashfu, Especially when the handsome boy is gazing at her.

2007-03-16 20:40:37 補充：
as you have mentioned the time"last evening" so you should not use"has not listened"you have abounding vocalbulary but you need to improve your grammar.work harder and you can wirte a good essay=]

5. Last evening, Jake "had" not "listen" to his mother’s speech, "did" not return the sliver package to the appropriate position, finally, when he wakes up today ,the sliver package has already lost, and he has sought a morning anxiously.

6. "She" is extremely apathetic of me forever when she "converses" me.

7. Every times she sees the convenience store clerk of her residence underground, all feels very bashful, specially this handsome boy is gazing at her.