麻煩評文~~任踩唔嬲!! [10分]

grading : i'm not sure
just grammatically adjusted with some rephrasing

Few years ago, one of the local companies in Hong Kong gave birth to the first animation movie called ‘Mcmug’. From then onwards, the animation industry in Hong Kong has gained attention rapidly. Moreover, there is a trend that more and more young people who have just graduated from universities in Hong Kong fall in love with the animation industry. Therefore, I strongly urge the Hong Kong Government to promote the animation industry to the general public and nurture animation and related production professionals among the interested youth population. I would like to give the following suggestions:

First of all, I believe a governmental animation association should be established in hopes of promoting animation to the society. It can conduct regular campaigns in order to teach the youngsters who are interested in this industry the professional techniques of design and making of an animation. Some professionals, from for example Japan and US, which produced outstanding animation cartoons can be invited to instruct association members in their relevant specialized field. After such training, the government should offer chances for placement in international animation companies to widen their horizons. In these ways, the trained young people can acquire not only more knowledge about worldwide animation but also have hands-on experience to the whole process.

Furthermore, I suggest that official competitions could be held by the animation association in order to further promote animation industry. [Competitions can be organized in an open area. (???? i don't understand) Students as well as adults are welcomed to take part in. ]Organized competitions can be held to encourage both students and the general public to participate. Winners can be awarded by free animation courses or chances to take part in commercial animation production. In this way, talents in animation field can develop their career more professionally and gain a chance to enter the commercial animation industry.

I hope these suggestions can be adapted by the government. Indeed, I have confidence with help of the government, the animation industry in Hong Kong can develop professionally and gain international acclaim and I am looking forward to watching more local-made animation productions.

A few more points
- i'm not definitely sure of the corrections, I just try make it less "HK style" english in feeling
- juvenile and adolescents make the feeling of excluding young adults and adults in general, esp when u talk about adolescent graduating, it felt odd to me
- so many "several" and "some"!! i guess if u really want to develop the culture and profession in HK u'll need regular competitions and courses... like our yearly marathon....
- other than Mc Mug we still have Mr Hui Ngai Shing from HK who actually helped in production of SHREK (Walt Disney)
- i'm not that sure of a governmental association... i suppose an association from the profession itself would be a better choice... government funding would be better... and not those one-off lump sum but a yearly regular input

2007-03-12 10:35:29 補充：
just hope it helps....
english can be difficult if you are not using it in real life...

可以加些具體的例子 , 有多少的大學生投入這個行業呢 .
寫出面對的困難 , 然後再寫建議

希望可以幫到你