超急~~今晚要~~check gramma

_____ University attracts me very much for its international reputation and historical prestigiousness. Most of the Hong Kong employers agree that the graduates from _____ University are excellent at being knowledgeable and practical. One of the BA programs, _________, appeals to me greatly as an important key to success in my own career path. I also realized the essentiality of being an outstanding mulingual communicator and I would like to achieve a solid foundation through this program as well.

[Be active, use words like I will achieve, I have decided, I consider; avoid words like xxx will provide, I will be exposed to, xxx will give me...]
[For the employers' comment you better get some real reference, it's such a bold statement and don't throw it out like words of mouth, that's irresponsible.]
[The reason at the back need more work. You basically just talk about your side-goal (language study) and totally missed the basic stuff you'll get from the program. Just saying (it's important to my career) is not enough, say how you'll be empowered, and how you'll show the industry. The school wants to know you're planning well in your job; the school doesn't want to throw life savers at people looking for a better way out.]