I have depression and want to die...

Although I am not a psychologist, i have studied psychology, I think i am sort of capable and I can attempt to help you. First of all, by reading your English, I believe you have studied aboard, or you are not in Hong kong, am I right? and then, for the depression, everyone has a unique solution; however, all kinds of solutions for the depression is ridiculous, it is just tried to request you to take a rest, relax, and try to get rid of this reality. I may say, reality is reality, it is cruel, it is not easy to suit for. we need to confront it; once the problem is solved, then the depression will be eliminated, and this is the only right way to prevent from getting depression, do you agree with me?

Most likely, if you want, I can talk to you, be your pen-pal; and we can develop our relationship, depends on how far we can go in the future.

nice to meet you, and I am waiting for you to contact me then~~~

don't think too much, if there is no solution, then it only means it is not the time to figure it out yet; everything takes time to tickle it, don't rush and ruin the chance~~~

According to the content above, it seems to me that you deeply believe in drugs. I tell you drugs may ruin your whole life. Drug will never be a solution for an unhappy heart. You have to face your problems and overcome them , solve them or accept them . We all have many problems in life and can't make any better for many. You can't change the world, change other people, but you can change yourself , your point of veiw. That may make you feel better. Please take a look into the links below:

精神科藥物的真相和副作用的BLOG-「藥物的謊言」:(留意「Sally」, 「余生多少也沒有的青年」,「Chiu」,「公主」,及「小賢」的真實個案-在「更多回應」那裹找)
http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/jw!V0jili2TAAeEL1KRDQOau96s/archive?l=f&id=5

Is medication really helps?(開始食抗抑鬱藥, 然後愈食愈多其他精神藥物, 但無好轉)
http://hk.knowledge.yahoo.com/question/?qid=7006103100421

抗抑鬱藥致人自殺及殺人
http://onlinejournal.com/health/081205Pringle/08-12-05_Pringle.pdf

參考資料:
請看一本書英文名 “ Your drug may be your problem” ISBN:0-7382-0184-7 作者是Peter Breggin 和 David Cohen.
這書踢爆抗抑鬱药隱瞞的事實

Peter Breggin 畢業於哈佛醫學院, 曾任麻省精神保健中心及紐約州醫學中心住院醫師, 國家精神保健院顧問. 1968年起於馬里蘭貝斯達開業, 並方至哈佛醫學院, 華盛頓精神病學院, 約翰霍普金斯大學等校講學….
David cohen 是加卅大學柏克萊分校博士, 專攻社會福利, 現任佛羅里達國際大學社工系教授.
(香港圖書館有此書可借)

另有台灣中文版, 書名 “為藥瘋狂” ISBN: 957-2026-39-9, 出版社:新新聞文化事業; 譯者:熊漢昌 . 如市面找不到可通過書店訂購. 價格97元港幣左右.

「發明疾病的人」由德國人Jörg Blech所寫, 他是研讀生物及生物化學, 担任醫藥和科學編輯, 被稱德國最佳記者. 由張志成譯.
此書踢爆全球性藥廠企業如何發明疾病,運用利益手段联同醫學專家及教授, 把正常個人的問題變成疾病, 首先把這疾病慨念植根於醫生腦中, 通過公關公司, 名人, 傳媒等做勢, 在背後策動推廣疾病, 他們會以不同姿態出現例如講坐, 健康資訊,新聞報導, 等等讓人接受疾病的存在, 而審視自己是否有病. 甚至名人自述如何用了藥物而康服, 誰知是接受了金錢受聘而做的, 這個現象於精神科尤為嚴重. 目的是行銷藥物.

「發明疾病的人」香港圖書館可借

如要知多些真相, 下述的網頁也值得看.
http://www.antidepressantadversereactions.com/chemical.htm
http://www.drugawareness.org/

藥廠說抑鬱症是腦部化學物質失衡引起, 其實這理論還未得證實, 是藥廠的謊言. 在上述網頁 The Chemical Imbalance Myth 及上述書本有解說., 還有談及此等藥物的副作用及戒斷証狀.

下述的網頁展示出售教人戒抗抑鬱藥的書
http://www.drugawareness.org/shop/order.html

公民人權調查團(留意陳庭威個案)
http://blog.pixnet.net/CCHR

Life is never easy and you are not alone. I do believe there is a lot of things we can do to change our thoughts, but it's entirely depends on ourselves. Kill yourself is absolutely not a right way to escape.

Anyway, you seems have no friends as you mentioned. You want to talk to someone but you only have a dad. Have you ever tried to talk to him besides only go to the psychologist? Of course some psychologists might help but I worry if you would addicted to the antidepressant once you think that's a solution. Do you really have no friends, classmates/colleagues or kins? or you just don't want to share your problem with others? I know sometimes we just want to find someone to talk to, rather than seeking for solution. That's why sharing is one of the important part in our social life.

If you don't feel comfortable to open yourself to others, try to write down what does the problem you are facing (mindmapping is a good method). And where those problems will lead you to, what will be the consequences. Also write down something that cheer you up, happy memories.... etc. You may learn some of your own living pattern.

Finally, there are some of organizations can help you for free. i.e. The Samaritan Berienders Hong Kong: http://www.sbhk.org.hk/ Why don't you try it?

同朋友出去玩下, 唔駛一定出外...出去專心咁享受下美食...去買下靚既野...去打下機...等自己有一刻係可以鬆一下。鬆完呢下..再面對件事..可能心情會鬆少少。

我之前爺爺去世個時我日日都喊...喊到係每日番學放學一路行一路喊..搭巴士喊...訓覺又喊。總之一自己一個人就喊...癲左咁。

後來有個朋友叫我同佢去行一下街...不斷同我吹埋d無聊水(多謝佢完全唔提件事扮唔知,.,淨係同我發up風唔俾我諗野)..最後拉左我去食左個好好食既甜品。

之後,,,再一個人既時候..諗番件事, 已經輕左。

人生在世,,唔係為左唔開心..係為左要玩架。既然黎到呢個世界..乜都未玩晒...死左唔抵呀。唔開心既事..發生左無得改變...咁就要去改變未來...開開心心咁玩盡佢。講真..係人都有一日會死。開開心心咁玩完先死...點都抵過唔開心咁死掛....

諗辦法去tum自己開心啦.....先唔好一口咬定"無呀..我咩都無興趣"...

有d野..試過(要投入咁試..唔投入...乜都唔好玩)先知...

怕心理醫生貴..去睇中醫..我有個friend都係咁醫好。佢睇個醫生係中環行人電梯近擺花街個邊...間中藥店叫"x春堂"...醫師叫"周x通" (唔知會唔會賣廣告..所以唔講全名..你去搵下啦)

其實...政府醫院都有心理醫生..唔好對"精神科"呢三個字抗拒.....病之嘛..同感冒有咩分別。

我唔識安慰人...但係, 唔好啦...唔好死呀..加油呀

圖片參考：http://hk.yimg.com/i/icon/16/21.gif
你無理由為咗一棵枯死的樹而放棄整個森林。只有你自己先幫到自己，你有勇氣想死，不如將佢變為動力去觀察一吓你身邊的人和事，其實有好多人關心你而你唔知？一