did anybody can help me to write a Funny English Poem????

One, Two, Three, Four
I always fall
Bump to the wall
And also to the door

Five, Six, Seven, Eight
There is a girl I really hate
She always makes me late
And stares at me at the gate

Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve
I want to make money by myself
And become a girl of wealth
But now I must have a good health

Oh future, my future
Which makes me feel pleasure
And which I learn from literature
Future, is not only for people, it’s also for nature.

*(add some pictures)*

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The Lovers

The sun went down and above the town
The sky became deep blue;
A meeting made, above the glade
Between these special two.

Atop the hill with wind so still
No better was a place
For them to meet, their hearts a-beat,
With love upon each face.

Their lips then met but with deep regret
She slowly shed a tear,
For downright sad and somewhat bad
Was what he had to hear.

His soul went dead 'ere a word was said
He knew what she would say;
'Twould break his heart, yet from the start
They knew love would not stay.

From his glancing eye and sombre sigh
She knew he knew her news.
It could not last, their time had past,
She stated both their views.

"It can not be," she said to he,
A lump within her throat,
"We know it now - I'm but a cow
And you a billy-goat!"

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Food For Thought

When we were young girls, so fresh in our teens
We'd go on our diets, to look good in our jeans!
And of course, at that age, we'd starve now and then
The obvious reason, was to look good for men!

Then, in our 20's, we'd push food away
To look good for the boyfriends, we chose for the day!
Our 30's, the same "sorry, cannot eat that
My guy may not love me if I start getting FAT!

Thank God, in our 40's, we've learned from mistakes
We must push away pizza and candy and cakes..
So we feel good, feel healthy, love ourselves once again
Then just sit back and laugh, and outlive all those men!!!!!

============================================

Mirror Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall
do you have to tell it all?
Where do you get the glaring light
to make my clothes look just too tight?

I think I'm fine but I can see
you won't cooperate with me.
The way you let the shadows play
you'd think my hair was turning grey.

What's that you say, a double chin?
No that's the way the light comes in.
If you persist in peering so
you'll confiscate my facial glow.

And then if you're not hanging straight
you'll tell me next I'm gaining weight.
I'm really quite upset with you
for giving this distorted view.

I hate you being so smug and wise.
Oh look what's happened to my thighs!
I warn you now oh mirrored wall
since we're not on speaking terms at all

If I look like this in my new jeans
you'll find yourself in smitherines!

============================================

WHY LADIES DON'T FISH

In slimy balls, worms congregate
regardless of status or creed.
Watch them squirm and undulate
fulfilling their passion or need.
When touched earthworms ejaculate
exuding their potent worm seed.
Right through their skins they procreate,
by clumping together, worms breed
When baiting hooks best hesitate,
use gloves, I fervently plead
since you could find by tempting fate
that worms are hard to breast feed.

============================================

Time Flies

A fly buzzed through my window
last Thursday afternoon
It danced around my calendar
then landed on the 6th of June

It skated along through January,
made merry in the month of May
But it fooled me on the 1st of April
when I tried to shoo it away

It laid an egg at Easter
and I vowed to make it pay
It left a gift on Christmas Eve
but I flattened it on Pancake Day

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Poem may be tasty
try one for lunch.
You might be able to roast them.
Fry them. Scramble them.
Be careful not to burn them.

If you look up the sky,
You see an angel fly,
She is watching you and says “hi”,
She says “If you don't choose mine,
Then you will say good-bye!”
That mean you will die.
Please don't shy,
And please choose mine!

it is so bad......(I tHinK)
^u^