改文高手/老師進!^^急

(1) I like package holiday brcause we can go to many sites in few days and we can taste all the traditional food there.Last Easter, I went to Tokyo to watch the Cherry Blossoms and I think it is very beautiful.
I went to Tokyo by plane. Moreover, I taste many delicious food like sushi and sashimi. Besides, there are many shops and I have bought many Gundom Model there, and I live in a famous hotel there .The hotel has many restaurant,two swimming pools and so on. And I went to the Japan Diseyland and the TV Tower.Also I bought many souveirs e.g.Origami and mochi. Origami is a king of paper doll and the mochi tastes good. I was very happy after this trip because I had bought many Gundom Model and I have bought many souvenirs to my friends and I had eaten many delicious food there.

CHANGE

(1a) I like package holiday because we can go to many different cities or countries within few days and we can also taste the food there. Last Easter, I went to Tokyo to watch the Cherry Blossoms. After the appreciation of them, I was so stunning from the Cherry.
I went to Tokyo by taking an areoplane. Moreover, I have tasted many kinds of delicious food, such as sushi and sashimi. Besides, there were lots of shops and I bought many Gundom Model there too. How about my living place? That was a famous hotel. Inside the hotel, there were restaurants, two swimming pools and so on. Later on, I went to Japan Disneyland and the TV Tower. I bought souveirs there. For example, Origami, mochi, etc. Origami is a kind of paper doll and the mochi tastes quite good. T felt very happy and impressive after this trip since I had bought a lot of Gundom Model and many souvenirs to my friends. I had also eaten many delicious food there.

I like package holidays because we can go to many sites in a few days and we can taste all the traditional food in those places.Last Easter, I went to Tokyo to watch the Cherry Blossoms and I thought it was very beautiful.I went to Tokyo by plane. Moreover,I tasted many delicious food like sushi and sashimi. Besides, there were many shops and I had bought many Gundom Models there, and I stayed in a famous hotel .There were many restaurants,two swimming pools,etc .And I went to Tokyo Disneyland and the TV Tower.Also I bought many souvenirs e.g.Origami and mochi. Origami was a kind of paper doll and the mochi tasted good. I was very happy after this trip because I had bought many Gundom Models and souvenirs to my friends and I had eaten a lot of delicious food there.