誠請各老師和 高手 告訴本人那裡出錯? 修改一翻 : 會考自修生懇求

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Your friend Pat is studying overseas but is planning to return to Hong Kong during the holiday to look for a summer job. However, Pat is not sure how to find a suitable one, so she has sent you a letter to ask you for help. Write a letter in response, telling Pat about what types of jobs are suitable, how to get them, and which one should be avoided.

Sign your response ,Chris. You must NOT write any addresses.



Dear Pat,

How are you? I am very excited to know that you will return to Hong Kong soon.

It is meaningful to spend the holiday for work. I suggest you going to the Labour Department.Threr you can find a wide variety of summer jobs and you also can write down your name to it's staff. When there is a suitable summer job for you, they will notice you at once. It is a comfortable way. In addition, you can find a summer job on the newspaper. It is also a good way to find a suitable summer job.

You can do whatever you like without thinking. However, you should not to do some jobs which may make you in a danger such as working in site even if it will give you more money than other do.Some of illegal jobs such as selling drugs, it must let you get into trouble. Moreover, there is a lot of trick to deceive some of students who hope to find summer jobs as you do. Some of the deceivers, they may request you to give them a lot of money before you start to work. So you should do it with care. Anyway, I think you can work as a waitress. I believe that you would be suitable for it.



I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours,

Jo Jo

"I suggest you go to the Labour Department, in where you can find a wide variety of summer job "
Corrections: Delete the comma and 'in'. The word 'job' must be in plural form.

"you also can write down your name to its staff"
Corrections: "leave your name at the office" is much better.

"they would notice you at once"
Corrections: Use 'will instead of 'would

"It is a comfortable way"
Corrections: Do you mean 'It is the most convenient way"?

" news paper"
Corrections: 'newspaper'

"you should not to do some job which may makes you in danger "
corrections: Delete 'to'.
'job' should be in plural form 'jobs'.
Use 'that' instead of 'which'.
'may make', not 'may makes'.

"site" ---> 'construction site"

"it would give you more money than other do. "
Corrections: "......than others"

"Some of illegal job " ....> 'jobs' not 'job'.

"it must let you get into trouble" Use 'may' , not 'must'.

"there is a lot of trick " ....> 'tricks' not 'trick'.

"they may request you give them " ....> 'to give them'

"Anyways" ...> 'anyway' is more popular.

The above are for your reference only.

Quite a number of mistakes. I did not attempt to re-write your letter although I think you should start by saying what types of jobs may be suitable for Pat, then follow by ways of finding one and finally which of those should be avoided. Try to follow the question. Use "will" instead of "would" for future event.

I have restricted my comments to typographical or grammatical errors. The letter should be signed off by Chris, an obvious mistake. Hope this helps

Dear Pat,

How are you? I am very excited to know that you will return to Hong Kong soon.

It is meaningful to spend the holiday for work. I suggest you go to the Labour Department, there you can find a wide variety of summer jobs and you can also register with the staff at the department by providing your your name. When there is a suitable summer job for you, they will notify you at once. It is a safe and convenient way. In addition, you can look for a summer job from postings on the newspaper. It is also a good way to find a suitable summer job.

It is important that you should not take on jobs which may endanger you such as working in construction site even if it offers better pay than others do. Not to mention illegal ventures such as drugs trafficking which will almost certain to get you into trouble. Moreover, there is a lot of scams that deceive students who hope to find summer jobs like you. Swindlers may ask you to give them a lot of money before you start to work. So you should exercise great care when deciding what jobs to take on. As a suggestion, you may work as a waitress during the holiday, I believe you will be suitable for it.

Hope you find this helpful.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours,

Chris