本人是會考生,請問我所的文章有錯漏的地方嗎? 可否加以改正 thank you

Nowadays, in Hong Kong, many people like eating in restaurants.
-> A lot of people in Hong Kong like to eat in restaurants nowadays/these days.
(a little reversing makes it sound better)

It is because that there is a wide of variety of dishes, they can order whatever they like and they can go to restaurant in any time.
-> It is because these restaurants serve a wide variety of dishes and people can order whatever they like and they can go to any restaurants at any time.
(this is ok...)

It seems that eating in restaurants is more convenient than eating at home.
-> It seems like eating in restaurants is more conveninent than eating at home.
(ok...)

However, in my opinion, it is not only a waste of time and money, but also it is unhealthy.
-> However, in my opinion, such an action is not only a waste of time and money, but it is in fact very unhealthy.
(this is ok...)

In fact, the dishes in restaurants are not so clean and fresh.
-> As a matter of act, the food served in restaurants are not as clean and fresh as one would think.
(use food because a dish may mean the dish you use to serve the food... clean dish implies they havent wash it and then put food on it)

No matter how beautiful and delicious the dishes, you never know they how make it.
-> No matter how beautiful the dishes look or how delicious the food tastes, you would never know how they prepare them in the kitchen.
(use dish and food to create some variation in your sentences)

The most important is that restaurants are not a responsible to keep your health.
-> Most important of all, these restaurants are not held responsible of your own heath.
(a little adjustment in this one)

They may add a lot of oil into their dishes without thinking.
-> They may add a lot of oil and MSG (味精) without considering their customer's health.
(I added MSG as well because restaurants put a lot in their food)

Do you want to spend your money on their unhealthy food?
-> Do you think you would want to spend money on eating unhealthy food in these restaurants?
(this is ok, I put in my suggestion)

On the contrary, if you eat at home, you can promise that the food is fresh.
-> On the contrary, if you eat at home, you can guarantee that the food you use is fresh and clean.
(promise is a bit strange, use the word gurantee)

How to make it you know.
-> You would know how you prepare and cook the food yourself.
(your sentence is fragmented so I rewrite it)

In addition to, you can save a lot of money because it is well-known that eating in restaurants is very expensive, moreover, eating at home you will keep a better relation with your family. Your home is a place you and your family to life together.
-> In addition, you will be able to save a lot of money because it is a fact that eating out in restaurants costs a lot more than cooking at home. Moreover, having meals at home will promote a better relationship with your family because your home is a gathering place in which you and your family live together.
(I separated and combine the 2 main ideas)

Eating at home is essential.
-> Therefore, eating at home is essential/encouraged.
(conclusion point)

For this reason, I think eating at home is much better than eating is restaurants.
-> With the above reasons, I believe that eating at home is more advantageous than eating out in restaurants.
(I think the ending sounds better like this)

It is because that there is a wide of variety of dishes - I think "choices" might be a better word choice, first "of" is an excess word, and "that" is better to be omitted

they can order whatever they like and they can go to restaurant in any time - I personally will choose "at" instead of "in" any time

you never know they how make it - consider rewrite it this way: you will never know how they were made. the word "they" means the food

The most important is that restaurants are not a responsible to keep your health - "The most important 'thing'", it takes a noun to make it a noun clause, "restaurants are not responsible for your health / restaurants are not responsible to keep you healthy."

On the contrary, if you eat at home, you can promise that the food is fresh - preposition for the word contrary should be "in", you may want to check it out yourself. Use "guarantee" instead of "promise". You did not promise anything to the food.

How to make it you know - You know how they were made.

In addition to - "to" should be omitted

eating at home you will keep a better relation with your family - "eating at home" is considered as a noun clause. please don't use two nouns continously. Eating at home will help to keep your relationship with your family.

Your home is a place you and your family to life together - "life" should be "live", you might have a typing error here. Your home is a place you live (together) with your family.

eating is restaurants - "in" instead of "is"

Beware of Chinese English. You are using quite a few. I think you certainly will double check your work and not to make tiny spelling mistake again. Good luck!

Eating at home is better than eating in restaurants.

Nowadays, in Hong Kong, many people like eating in restaurants. It is because that there is ("THEY OFFER" is better) a wide (of <--delete this) variety of dishes, they can order whatever they like and they can go to restaurantS (in <--delete this) any time. It seems that eating in restaurants is more convenient than eating at home. However, in my opinion, it is not only a waste of time and money, but it is also (it's better to place "also " after "it is" rather than the other way around) unhealthy.

In fact, the dishes in restaurants are not so clean and fresh. No matter how beautiful and delicious the dishes ARE, you never know they how THEY MADE it. The most important is that restaurants are not (a <--delete this) responsible FOR KEEPING YOU HEALTHY. They may add a lot of oil into their dishes without thinking. Do you want to spend your money on their unhealthy food?

On the contrary, if you eat at home, you can BE ASSURED ("promise " is an active verb, you don't "promise " yourself that food is fresh) that the food is fresh. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS MADE. In addition (to <-- delete this), you can save a lot of money because it is well-known that eating in restaurants is very expensive. Moreover (I've changed this, because "moreover " is usually placed at the beginning of the sentence), eating at home, you CAN keep a better relationSHIP with your family. (If you don't put a comma behind "eating at home", then you should say "eating at home allows you to keep a better relationship with your family). Your home is a place you and your family LIVE (to life <-- we never use it like this!!) together. Eating at home is essential. For this reason, I think eating at home is much better than eating IN (is <--wrong) restaurants.


I've put in my suggestions either in (brackets) or in CAPITAL LETTERS. I didn't delete your original stuff so that you can see where corrections should be made. Hope it's not too confusin!

I got an A in my HKCEE English Composition.
Personally, I think your composition is pretty good. There are only some minor mistakes, but you've got great ideas, so these should make up for the mistakes!
Good luck!

2007-02-01 02:44:16 補充：
i've lived in Australia for 5 years and in the states for half a year