本人是會考自修生,懇請各高手們改正一下本人的文章,恩同再做 thx

不錯啊，只是有些地方可作改善。另請留意文中要用past tense.

Dear Wendy, (英文上下款應用逗號)

Long time no see, how are you doing?

I want to tell you about something funny that happened to me recently. It happened to me when I was working as a private tutor for a primary student. (兩句句子最好有些關係連接)

(下文記得要用past tense) Three months ago, I wanted to earn some money to support my school fees. So I decided to look for a part-time job. Eventually, I found a job as private tutor for a primary student. The student was studying primary three. He was not obedient and hadn't any diligence, so he kept getting poor results in school (用 poor results, 並非 bad results). I realized that I needed to give him much encouragement to boost his confidence (boost someone's confidence 是個比較常用的phrase), but it was not easy. I tried to praise him when he did well and gave him candies as rewards. In the following month, he got much better marks in his the tests. I was very happy and it encouraged me to teach him with more concern. Soon, he came first in his class (用came first, 不是 got No.1). His mother praised me for being a good private tutor and she gave more money than I should get (should get, 是應得, 你寫 deserve 是值得, 有點扁低了自己). I felt excited/thrilled (pleased 是安慰, 開心的感情不夠強) and she was pleased as well. I hope to have more experiences like that.

Well, I hope you have enjoyed reading about my part-time job. Please write back soon to tell me about how you are doing (不要用 your life, 好像叫人說說他的一生) too.

Best wishes, (記得加逗號)
Jo Jo

冇信心，但試試：
Dear WENDY

Havn't see you for a long time,how are you doing?

Now I'm writing to you about somthing amuse me so much at my part-time job:
Three months ago,I tried to make some money for my school fee,and found a part-tme job as private tutor of a primary three class boy. with a bad record,he who is not obey to anyone and without diligence,that I had to praise him if doing well will have some candies for reward. In the following months,he got an advance in his studies and raise the result ,I'm glad of it and encouraged myself to teach him with more concern. Then, he made the first grade in class,both his mom and me were very happy,she believed in me and raise my paid! Ho,I wish to have that moment for every future months!

Well,I wish you enjoy to read about my part-time job,and I'm waiting for your return about yourself.

Best wishes

JO JO