pls help to check~~

其實都冇乜特別野錯,不過最尾個句唔係完整句子wor~

Other recreation and entertainment facilities such as karaoke, bar
and (加番and)
restaurant also can be
found (伊度要用被動式passive voice - 能被找到, be found 係passive voice)
there. (唔洗in)
People from anywhere also can embark on the cruiser by boat. Besides the HK film industry, it also has the potential of becoming tourist attractions for the foreigners to
visit, which can promote (咁樣用句relative clause去連貫兩句,我估你係想話個potential可以推動香港旅遊業)
the development of tourism in HK.

成句就係:
Other recreation and entertainment facilities such as karaoke, bar and restaurant also can be found there. People from anywhere also can embark on the cruiser by boat. Besides the HK film industry, it also has the potential of becoming tourist attractions for the foreigners to visit, which can promote the development of tourism in HK.

For 最尾個句
亦可以係
Besides the HK film industry, it also has the potential of becoming tourist attractions for the foreigners to visit and promoting the development of tourism in HK.

Other recreation and entertainment facilities such as karaoke, bar, restaurant can be also found in there. People from anywhere can also embark on the cruiser by boat. Besides the HK film industry, HK has also the potential of becoming tourist attractions by promoting the development of tourism in HK.

There are other recreation and entertainments found, such as karaokes, bars and restaurants, tourists can also cruise by the the harbour. Besides on relying on the film industry, Hong Kong has potential to become a popular attraction for tourists, if one is willing to develop and promote tourism in Hong Kong.

Other recreation and entertainment facilities such as karaoke, bar, restaurant also can be found there. People from anywhere also can embark on the cruiser by boat. Besides the HK film industry, it also has the potential of becoming tourist attractions for the foreigners to visit. Promote the development of tourism in HK.