請幫我改下呀 (我的英文日記)

首先，雖然係日記，但係英文文法上唔一定全用Past tense!
好似一些已知同常理就要用Present tense!

原文：
Christmas’ love
In this Christmas holiday, I stayed in Macau. I went to noisy place, and than I knew a girl, the girl who wore the clothing was very sex, make me so excitation. I want to dinner with her, so I decide to make an appointment, she answer me at once. I was so happy, but final was not in love with her, because she has a boyfriend. Anyway I think this is a good experience.

改成：
In this Christmas holidays, I spent in Macau. I visited a noisy place and know a girl, who wore the clothing was very sexy, I was so exciting. I want to had a dinner with her, then I decided to make an appointment and she answered me at once. I was so happy, I finally didn't fall in love with her, because she has a boyfriend. Anyway I think this is a good experience.

Christmas’love ....
In this Christmas holiday,(holidays因係唔係一日既假期，如果用vacation就唔洗加s)

I stayed(spent) in Macau.
如果stayed中文是指假期留在澳門，用spend會好點，因為stayed係停留，但英文上係指留咗一個地點。相對同時用Christams holiday唔同用法。

I went(visited) a noisy place and knew(know您雖然已經認識佢，但係而家仲係認識緊，一定唔可以用Past tense) a girl, (who) wore the clothing was very sex(sexy), it make me so excitation. (成句改成 I was so exciting，因為excitation係名詞，exciting先係指好興奮。用法上亦唔可以咁用，因為excitation係死物名詞，用來形容死物,事件可以用excited形容自己好興奮就用exciting)

I wanted to dinner with her, so I decide to make an appointment, (I wanted to had a dinner with her, then I decided to make an appointment. "wanted had" 係指一件已經完成既事，而當時係想去完成，現在已經完成了，所以用過去完成式。so係中文有"所以既意思，但我地係講述過去既事，通用係then，有跟隨去做既意思。)

She answer(answered) at once. I was so happy; (如果您係話佢即刻應承您食飯，咁用at once就okay啦)

but final was not in love with her, she has a boyfriend.(I finally didn't fall in love with her.因為finally先係副詞，fall in love係指拍拖或者愛上佢，係前面加上didn't指沒發生。)

Anyway I think this is a good experience. (用現在式，okay)

I went to Macau in this X'mas. I met a girl at a noisy place who dressed so sexy that arouse my attention. I decided to date her and finally had a dinner with her. However, we could not finally fall in love as the girl had a boyfriend. However, I am still happy to have such a good experience.

Christmas Love

In this Christmas holiday, I stayed in Macau. I went to a noisy place where I met a girl. She was in some sexy clothing which excited me so much. I asked her out on a date and she said 'yes'! I was so happy. Even so, I did not fall in love with her because later on I found that she already had a boyfriend. Neverthless, I think that was a good experience for me.

Christmas’love ....

In this Christmas holiday, I stayed in Macau.
I went to noisy place and I knew a girl who was dressing very sexy there.
She make me vey excitant.
I wanted to have dinner with her, so I decided to make an appointment with her.
She assented my invitation at once that make me feel very happy.
But we did not fall in love finally because she had a boyfriend.
Anyway, I thought this was a very good experience.

Christmas love

During this Christmas holiday, I travelled to Macau. I went to _________ (where?a market? a disco?). The place was noisy. I met a girl in sexy clothing. She got me very excited. I want to have dinner with her, so I decided to ask her out. She answer me at once. I was so happy. Unluckily, she already had a boyfriend, we were not able to fall in love. Anyway, I think this was a good experience.

Christmas’love ....
In this Christmas holiday, I stayed in Macau. = OK!!!
I went to noisy place, and than I knew a girl (WHO) wore the clothing was very (SEXY),
(SHE) make me so excitation...... CHANGED...

I wanted to dinner with her, so I decide to make an appointment,

She answered ONLY once. I was so happy but (WE DID not FALL) in love with her, she HAD a boyfriend.

Anyway I think this (WAS) a good experience. = CHNAGED