請幫我改以下英文

I appreciate your offer of a position at your company. I would like to inquire about my starting salary and the possibility of starting on January 29th, 2007.

What I am not sure is whether you are accepting the offer and asking for more information, or you are waiting for the information to make your decision. It is difficult to pick a right tone for the sentence because it is very strange for you to be asking your salary if you have been offered a position -- the salary should have been disclosed to you.

I am pleased to learn that my application for [XX post] has been accepted. Would you please inform me the salary of the post. In addition, may I know if I report duty on 29th January 2007 is fine for you.

It is a great pleasure to be haired (invited) and be a part of your company. It will be nice if I have a brief idea how much is my salary and can I be informed when is commencing date which I can be at any time or how about 29th Jan 2007whenever it's okay for you? Thank you.

(你係唔係見工呀，睇來比人請左囉喎）（If Yes, I suggest you to be more polite, don't forget the smile !!) (Good Luck)
參考資料:
me

Thank you for your kind offer. I should be grateful if you could let me know the salvary and the availability of the commencing date for which I suggest to be on 29th Jan 2007.