Please help~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!(20point)英文作文高手請進~~~

Introduction
Crime Rate in Hong Kong
What kind of crime is dominant?
Statistic -- increasing or decreasing? (find from police force website)

Body
A)Evolution of punishment to criminal in Hong Kong
·From deterrence to rehabilitation
·Deterrence – using severe punishment, such as imprisonment to deter people from committing crime
·Rehabilitation – using less severe punishment such as community service order and setting up more rehabilitation program for criminals e.g. mid-way house

B) How to reduce crime with the use of punishment?
Deterrence vs Rehabilitation
1.Deterrence
a)Advantage of severe punishment
i.deter people from commit crime
b)Disadvantage of severe punishment –
i.e.g. Imprisonment – associate with more criminals
ii.isolation from society
iii.rage against society

2.Rehabilitation
a)Advantage of rehabilitation –
i.Correct the mindset of criminals, especially the young offenders – prevent future commission of crime
ii.Less chance to associate with other criminals
b)Disadvantage of rehabilitation
i.Not deterring enough
ii.More society resources needed

C) Is it appropriate for all criminals to be treated the same way?
1.Young offenders? = Rehabilitation
2.Repetitive offenders? = Deterrence

Conclusion
Different treatment should be used for different criminals in order to reduce crime

^ great outline nonoit :)

[Introduction]
-Hook is the first sentence. Intrigue your reader somehow. Give them a fun fact about crime. State a relation to yourself and the topic. Whatever it takes... but never use a famous quote!
-Brief statistics of crime rate level in Hong Kong for the past 5-10 years
-Propose reason for increasing crime rate (loose punishments)
-Thesis: A, B, and C reasons/example lead to the notion that turning the punishments for certain crimes up a notch will be beneficial to society as a whole.

[BP #1]
-Reason/Example A = Main idea
-Further develop the idea. Example: The consequence of drinking and driving is currently XXXXX. Althogh drunk driving is not necessarily a crime, it remains punishable by law. If drunk drivers are granted a second chance before they repent on the first strike, the lesson clearly does not transmit and the offence may well be committed again.
-Be sure to make a connection to thesis.
-If possible, transition smoothly to [BP #2]

[BP #2]
-Reason/Example B = Main idea
-Further develop the idea. Example: A parent beating a child into obedience is synonymous to society reprimanding an individual to conform to its laws.
-Be sure to make a connection to thesis.
-If possible, transition smoothly to [BP #3]

[BP #3]
-Reason/Example C = Main idea
-Further develop the idea
-If possible, transition smoothly to [Conclusion] by referring back to thesis.

[Conclusion]
-Restate your opinion on severe punishments and the benefits it will bring (basically, restate your thesis statement in different words)
-Do NOT give new information in your conclusion. No stats. All restatements!
-Emphasize your confidence in your stand by logically restating your reasons and the inevitable positive results it will reap.