Please, correct my English sentance

Mr. John, the Shop Manager phoned me and said that an old customer, standing outside the main entrance, insisted on withdrawing his money after the shop was closed.

Moreover, he did not accept the salesman’s explanation but he also lost his temper to break the window making both the salesman and the customer’s own arm harmed slightly by the broken glass.

Therefore we phoned the police station for assistance.

The shop manager Mr. John called and informed me that an old customer was standing outside the shop. He insisted to withdrawing his money after the shop was closed.

The sale tried to explain him about the situation, but he did not accept that. He lost his temper and broke the glass window; both sale and the old man was hurt by the
”smashed glass”.

Therefore, we called the police.

2006-12-06 17:41:38 補充：
我只係改grammar, 冇改您d字不過, withdraw money, 您似係講緊銀行....shop 應該轉做banksale 應該轉做teller我估........

Mr. John, the Shop Manager, phoned me up telling me that an old customer insisted on withdrawing his money outside the main entrance after the shop was closed.

He did not accept the explanation given by the salesgirl, moreover he could not control his temper and broke the glass window. Both of them were a hurt by the smashed glass. Fortunately, they were not seriously injured.

Therefore we phoned the police for assistance.

2006-12-06 17:22:50 補充：
更正 : Both of them were hurt by the smashed glass.

Mr. John of Shop Manager phoned me and said that an old customer had insisted on withdrawing his money standing out of the main entrance after the shop was closed.

He only accept the sale explanation but he also could not control his temper to break the glass window, which make both sale and his own arm were a little hurt by smash glass.

Therefore, we phoned the police station for assistance.

2006-12-06 17:12:29 補充：
只是估的.