可唔可以肯親自幫我check grammer??

2006-11-21 5:39 am
(thank you very much~)

racism happens everywhere in world, no matter in developed or developing countries.
racism is so common that even in hong kong, many people will discrimate against residents who came from other asia countries, for instance, india.
regardless of the fact that those racist are well-edcated or not, it is the human nature to isolate people who are considered "werid" since they dress differently from us and have different skin colour and features.
更新1:

even though some people do not apparently behave racism against other race, they might have a subconscious mind that people with different skin colour from theirs is inferior. people who do not turn to be racist because they are much mature and tolarent than those racist.

更新2:

even though most cases of racism in the world are against blacks because their genetic country ----Africa is fall behind in turn of economy and as well as civilization and suffer from poverty, every race will have bias toward other race at some level.

更新3:

for instance, some hong kong people will have racism against caucasian that called them [ghost man] regardless of their strength economic background. the consequences of racism can be very serious in terms of race war. Also, it will interrupt the international interchange of culture.

更新4:

So racism causes loss to human. To end racism, the society should promote equal opportuities and the government should strengthen the law of equlity.

更新5:

Youngsters should be taught more about civil education. the government should also introduce youngsters to more foreign arts and culture, to improve relations with foreign countries.

更新6:

More cultural exchanges between youngsters from world could help them to learn about the culture of other countries. the government should also help to improve the social status of foreign residents in their own countries.

回答 (3)

2006-11-21 9:13 am
✔ 最佳答案
Sure
圖片參考:http://hk.yimg.com/i/icon/16/1.gif

我儘量會唔改用字, 只改 grammatical mistakes and usage
因為太長唔可能每個更改都解釋
唔明的話可告訢我

Racism can be found anywhere around the world, no matter in developed or developing countries.
Racism is so common that it could even be found in hong kong, many (or some?) people discrimate against immigrants 移民 from other Asian countries, for instance immigrants from India.
Regardless the edcational level of the racist, it is nature for human/people to isolate those who are considered as dissimilar, since they dress differently, and they also have different colors of skin and facial features.

Even though some people do not show racism against other races on the surface, they still have subconscious mind that people with different skin colour is inferior.
The reason for those who do not join the racist is because they are have a more mature mind and have higher tolarence than those who are racist.
Most cases of racism in the world are against the black race because their genetic country - Africa, falls behind from other countries in terms of economy as well as civilization, and they suffer from poverty and hunger.
In face every races have a certain level of bias towards other races.
For instance, some Hong Kong people discriminate against the white race by giving them unpolite nicknames regardless of their strong economic background.
Consequences from racism can be very serious in terms of racial wars, it also interrupts the exchange of cultures on a international scale. So you can see how racism causes losses to human.
To put an end in racism, our society should educates its citizens about equal opportuities, and the government should also establishes and strengthenes laws on equlity.
More civil education should be provided for youngsters. By participating in more cultural exchanges programmes, youngsters can learn more about the culture of other countries. The government can help by introducing youngsters to more foreign cultures and arts, and to improve the relationships with foreign countries, on the other hand, the government should help improving the social status of immigrants.
參考: MYSELF
2006-11-21 8:27 pm
(racism//Racism) happens everywhere in world, (no matter//--) in developed (or//and) developing countries (+alike).
(racism//It) is so common that (+,) even in (hong kong//Hong Kong), many people (will//--) discrimate against residents who came from other (asia//Asian) countries, for instance, (india//India). (XXX I don't understand why you need to single out India as an example here. The story that follows does not mention anything about Indians.)
(regardless of the fact that//Whether) those racist are well-edcated or not (XXX This sentence does not seem to fit in as it does not have any correlation to the next sentence), it is (the//--) human nature (+of ourselves) (XXX You need a subject here -- human nature is a concept and cannot take on an action verb like isolate) to isolate people who (are considered "werid" since they//--) dress differently (from us//--) (and//or) have different skin colour and (+facial) features. (XXX If you believe that it is human nature to isolate people who dress differently, then there would be no racists. Your argument is very weak here.)

(even//Even) though some people do not apparently (behave//practise) racism against (other race//people of a different race), they (XXX Does the they refer to some people or other people?) might (have a subconscious mind//subconsciously think) that people with (+a) different skin colour (from theirs//--) (is//are) inferior. (people//People) who do not turn to be (racist/racists) (because they//--) are much mature and (tolarent//tolerant) than (those racist//racists). (XXX This argument is also very weak.)

(even//Even) though most cases of racism in the world are against (blacks//the Blacks) (XXX Using this world alone can make you a racist... be careful) because (+of) their (genetic country//ancestry) ----Africa (is fall//falls) behind (XXX the western countries?) in (turn//terms) of economy and as well as civilization (XXX this is another racist statement... be careful) and suffer from poverty (XXX this is another generalization), every race will have bias (toward//against) (XXX bias towards = to be in favour of!) (other//another) race at some level.

(for//For) instance, some (hong kong//Hong Kong) people will have racism against (caucasian//Caucasians) (that called//by calling) them [ghost man] regardless of their strength economic background (XXX Are you suggesting that racism is always against the poor? We're talking about racism, which is purely based on race, right?). (the//The) consequences of racism can be very serious in terms of race war (XXX What is a race war?). Also, it will interrupt the international interchange of culture. (XXX Unless everyone practise racism, I don't see how racism can have an interruption. And, what do you mean by interchange of culture?)

So racism causes loss to human. (XXX ?)
To end racism, (the society//societies) should promote equal opportuities and the government should strengthen the law of (equlity//equality). (XXX How would promoting equal opportunities end racism?)

Youngsters should be taught more about civil education.
(the government//Governments) (XXX Since you are not talking about a specific government, you should use a plural noun to express generality.) should also introduce youngsters to more foreign arts and culture, to improve relations with foreign countries. (XXX How can a government unilaterally improve relations with foreign countries?)

More cultural exchanges (between//among) youngsters (from world//--) could help them (to//--) learn about (the culture//cultures) of other countries. (the government//Governments) should also help to improve the social status of foreign residents in their own countries. (XXX Huh?)


Remember that there is no E in grammar!
2006-11-21 6:52 pm
there are some mistakes in the correction given to you by the other responder

for example, unpolite is not a word
the correct form should be impolite



if you're interested, a good tool for improving writing (in general) is hkwriteright.wetpaint.com


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