請批改這篇日記並每點指出錯處

2006-11-07 11:02 pm
Today I had not enough energy because I could not fall a alseep lastnight.
I felt sleepy and cold in all day.
My throat was not feeling well.
It might be I will have to catch a cold in above points.
Tonight, I must eat more some fruits to absorb more vitamin C and go to sleep early to resist my ill. I think.

回答 (2)

2006-11-07 11:55 pm
✔ 最佳答案
不好意思,上面已改的文還有幾處地方錯。

had no enough 還錯過 had not enough

英文的 NEGATIVE 是用 DO/DID + NOT + VERB

你篇文是 TODAY, 還有講 TONIGHT,好明顯 TONIGHT 未到,可以用 PRESENT TENSE 和 FUTURE TENSE,除了 LASTNIGHT 要用 PAST TENSE。

不可用 felt not well. 還錯過 was not feeling well. (古老英文莎士比亞那個年代就可以,現在英語唔得)

這句如果你是講過去便可用 PAST TENSE,但好明顯你現在還病,所以要用 PRESENT TENSE。

你的用字一點不口語。如是口語,便要用簡寫 CONTRACTIONS, 即 ’ s , ' d (我怕打了後又變要形)。

我試下幫你改改。

Today I do not have enough energy because I could not fall alseep last night.
I feel sleepy and cold all day.
My throat is not feeling well.
It could be that I have caught a cold judging from the above.
Tonight, I must eat some fruits to absorb more vitamin C and go to sleep early in order to get better, I guess.

其實也不是錯得太多。你基本上 GRAMMAR OK 不錯, 只是不懂得用那種 TENSE,特別是因為你是講 TODAY。如果你是講已發生的過去,如 THIS MORNING, THIS AFTERNOON, 又不講及將來,可以全用 PAST TENSE。但你講你現在傷風,又講今晚,當然要用 PRESENT TENSE。

上面我句 It could be 因你是作猜測,所以我用了 SUBJUNCTIVE (PAST FORM)。這裏也可用 It might be, 作用一樣,但要加 THAT。

2006-11-07 16:07:39 補充:
Vitamin C 不是用 GET (隨非你是買),或 ASSIMILATE (解同化?!)

2006-11-08 17:12:17 補充:
owl1219815, 不用客氣,難得你大人有大量不介意。
2006-11-07 11:24 pm
Today I had no enough energy because I could not sleep last night.

I was sleepy and cold the whole day.

My throat felt not well.

The above points might be the reasons explaining why I got a cold.

Tonight, I must have some fruits to get/assimilate more Vitamin C and go to bed early to get well soon.

你的文有些中文化, 所以我試一下改為書面語 :)

2006-11-08 11:57:22 補充:
樓下的 風 , 謝謝你的糾正^^b我也覺得有些混亂, 原文是有today, 也有tonight, 但用字卻是不同的. 所以我都是try下迎合原文, 原來我也寫錯了, 真是.... ___

2006-11-08 11:58:07 補充:
另, 其實我也在想用不用absorb呢? 因為absorb說的吸收是說液體的吸收.orz assimilate好像是用在營養吧. 所以才用這個......有什麼問題再談論吧^^b
參考: me


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