check grammer

You need to aware of the right words to use and also preposistions too. Here's my suggestion of the passage: (changes are capitalized for easy review)

I love hiking and listening TO music. IN Singapore, I can walk on MOUNTIAN TRAILS that surround IN THE OUTSKIRT OF Singapore, MOREOVER I ENJOY LISTENING to one of three symphony ochestra performing in THE modern conert hall. I want to apply IN ManTin Bank becuase IT IS ONE OF THE LARGEST ASIAN BANKS IN SINGAPORE (***** Don't know if you meant it that way *****). MOREOVER, ManTin Bank uses internal plomotion (*****plomotion or promotion ar???*****), it gives the staffs great OPPORTUNITIES IN THEIR FUTURE, THEREFORE THESE PROMPT ME to apply

I am so sorry, but I think I would need to change it quite a bit.

I assume this is one part of what you are going to say, I am also assuming that this a speech and not a letter. I do not really understand what you are saying here:

listen to one of three symphony orchestra ( do not understand what you are saying)
performing in modern concert hall. (this part is ok)

i want apply man tin bank because ( this I understand, thought grammatically wrong)

this is number or large asian banks including the man tin bank of singapore.that bank is used internal plomotion (totally confuse!)
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I love hiking and music. I enjoy walking up the hills surrounding Singapore and listen to the wonderful classical music played by the symphony orchestra at the modern concert hall.

I would love to work for Man Tin Bank. It is one of the largest banks in Asia. With the Company’s international client base, it will certainly offer me more responsibility, challenges and interesting opportunities. I am also very excited to find out that the Company has internal promotion which allows employees to expand their career spectrum.

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I hope this can be of help! : )

2006-10-20 23:43:05 補充：
sorry to have make such changes, and self *created* part of the content...cos I do not get what you are trying to say....really really sorry..